Frustratingly Mediocre

Just decided to write this down first but guess who has been awake since 6 am yesterday? Ive officially been awake for 37 hours heeehehe unless you count the times when i partially slept in art and while queueing >< Surprisingly im actually not that tired now hahaha xP Hope™

Why does it feel like im so pressed for time these few days? Like so much to do yet so little time? I have to study for chem I have art homework I have bio notes I have dance I have pi There's like just so many things and im so annoyed w myself that i just cant seem to do shit anywhere. Like im freaking unproductive and this annoys me so much like there's totally 0 motivation for me to do anything. I cant do chem for nuts. This is annoying me. I literally stare at the thing for idek how long and it prolly takes me twice the amount of time to understand and do the qns like others..... Just now in gp, miss sharon gave us time to read the passage. It had 13 paragraphs and i was on 5 when she said stop. Most people arnd me alr finished reading it. Why dont i understand what im reading???? Anyways i was kindda interuptted so i forgot what i wanted to  say and so goodbye! Hope™

right guys!! time for an actual post on a day omg how long have i not been doing that??? i dont even remember anymore because i think i've forgotten everything that's happened to me oh no. anyways so i went out w my friends on friday!!!! namely sharmaine, marcus, junyu and clara although clara joined us later cos she had some stuff to do yeah. so since whatever she had to go for (i think it's the planting plants in jelly thing) was in school, we decided to go ecp and wait for her. so ecp other than beach a lot of times is cycling right?? the thing is......... ME AND MARCUS CAN'T CYCLE. so like uh. we were planning to tandem at first but then when we reached there they said they didnt wanna tandem and that we could just get our own bikes and that they'll teach us how to cycle. i was honestly quite skeptical about it at first cos it's not like i've never learnt how to cycle before. i've been trying to learn how to cycle since i was young but then i was nev...

ohkay so i've submitted it again online... i'm really hoping i get something soon or i will start flipping tables not kidding. this is eating me up most likely because someone i know has alr gotten her confirmation like omg where is mine this is scaring me gah. oh and i have my grade 8 ballet exam tomorrow guys! wish me luck!! hahahha tbh i feel that my whole class is super unprepared for this whole exam but oh wells what can we do right. idk izzit because we don't have enough lessons or we just aren't good enough or the people here are really not sincere in learning ballet cos honestly if you look at some of them you can tell like they're not really interested in it anymore? i think i was like that too during that one or two years in sec 1/2 when i got damn sian of dance hahhaha thank God that i didn't quit it though (: Hope™

ohkay so i found out that maybe my laptop ain't the best to draw pictures on cos uhhhhh it's rly damn difficult to la >< like cos it's touchscreen right so it will sense everything including my hand that i rest on my screen so uhhhh abit the problem luh >< and i need to draw smth for the forensic science thing in school sua i think i use traditional method better hahahhahahhaha drawing so difficult lor pls. but then again maybe it's just cos i'm not used to it hahahhahha more on this some other time (hopefully tonight or tomorrow yeah) when i have the time >< i wanted to type in korean then i realised i need to add korean and chinese onto my com HAHAHAHHA Hope™

Sighh.... I can't sleep.... Again. Tbh IDEK if this is insomnia or just me screwing up my body clock so badly it's so confused with life lol.  But like really I've been trying to sleep since before 1 guess what time is it now? I actually do feel tired but yet I just can't seem to sleep and I really does annoy me a little because I mean I'm not stupid (although my actions and thoughts prove otherwise but that's not the point) but like yeah little sleep is not good luhhhh  So since now I have the time maybe I should talk about stuff that's been happening lately. More specifically stuff about dreamstation. Ohkay so I haven't blogged abt what happened in dec (IKR like whaaaat) but yeah so basically where I learn dance (and singing) from is a this place called dreamstation.  Dreamstation is closing down.  And even though I've only been here for 3 months I really do feel a little bummed abt it. I mean we're such a close knit family in a sense I guess??...

alright so i've been getting feedback from SOMEONE (you know who you are hahahaha) that i should be blogging about happier things so it's pretty random since i'm trying (and failing) to do my work but i kindda wanted to write smth abt this luh so here it goes yay CUTENESS i'm telling you i think i almost gave myself high blood pressure trying to win this hahahha. cos like so what's gg on now in the airport is that well uh if you spend $100, you get to have a go at disney tsum tsum. if you get more that 1 mil points then you can get the tsum tsum hahha. and the thing is like they don't let you change the mytsum so you have to use mickey which is not really that good i'm sorry hahhaha. so like yeah i really wanted it la then yeah so i was so wound up playing that once i stopped and actually got enough points to get it and had to write my name down and everything, my hand was shaking so badly ahahhahahhaahaha xD but it was really so cute luh :D and it's fro...

EEEEEEEEEEEPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPP EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPP EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPP EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPP EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPP OHKAY I CLICKED SEND WHAT DO I DO NOW HOLY SHIT I'M LITERALLY ONLY SENDING ONE EMAIL YET I'M GETTING SO WORKED UP OVER IT WHAT EVEN

I don't know why I'm getting so worked up now.... Like I suddenly just feel damn kanjiong/nervous/anxious???? And no I'm not scratching my hand (can't say the same for the things around me oops) but like... Idk why Im suddenly like that. Btw I'm typing this on iPhone and omg the keyboard is damn difficult to use WHY IS IT SO TINY I HAVE FAT FINGERS OHKAY. And an irritating wart that doesnt seem to go away no matter what i do to it. And I've literally gone to the extent of ( warning: possibly gory shit here ) picking at it so badly, like pulling out the uh, flesh???? Until my hand was bleeding like crazy ( end of uh possibly gory shit ) AND ITS STILL NOT GONE ohkay that isn't my point  My point is that I don't understand why on earth am I so uptight abt speaking to others. Like... There was once I literally only had to order a green tea latte at coffee bean and I think if I had stayed at the cashier any longer I would've started shaking. And then I ge...

how does one explain to her parents that yes, she's 17 and no, she doesn't like talking to strangers even though said stranger is the family doctor that has seen her since she was a baby unless there's someone there with her.

I just dont get what's up with my memory. Or rather why am i forgetting something that i always do?? Like i literally go for it every week yet i forget it like almost every week until like maybe a few hrs before. And it just gets so annoying cos it affects everyone?!!?!?!?! Like plan plan plan until so happy alr yay good seems  like everything gg our way and then BAM this thing just pops up and spoils everything. It's not like i dont want to go for it or that im sick of it alr. Im just sick of myself forever not remembering such a thing and forever having problems meeting up with others cos of this. Like i damn burden only la. Forever cos of me then something crops up. Like it either gets cancelled or becomes super lame/rushed. Im not kidding this is not the first time it's happened. Last week friday was kindda fail like we didnt even talk much and i didnt even eat like we just sat there chit chatted a little then all of us had to go rush off to our own things. There was on...

Idk why but my mood seems so bad today??? Izzit like pms or smth idek but my mood today is just shit. Firstly ive been so tired the entire day. Like i know i dont sleep enough but this is even worse than normal days. Then now we're all studying tgt and idk why but i find that the table is so quiet and distant. What happened to us constantly joking and talking to each other? What happened to the super loud and chatty atmosphere? Why does the atmosphere feel so heavy and everything? Like nothing's gg fine and like idk??? Like the atmosphere just feels so different and i dont know if it's because of me or what. Why does it seem like everyone's only so focused on work now? We're not conversing abt our normal lives and we keep talking work. Has jc really stressed us so much that all we think about is work and sleep? What is eat? What is play? What is leisure? Why is everything like that i dont know why i feel so down this is so annoying and confusing. Im not usually like...

first post of march!!! guess who's been procrastinating so hard that she's not posted anything abt her jc life???? THAT'S RIGHT THIS GIRL ._. srsly idek why i'm not blogging like i have time?!?!??!?!? anyways so yeah jc's started and school and friends and everything do you know how accomplished i felt when i actually understood chem lecture and was able to do shit???? too bad it's like the third chapter now and like.... HELP. bio's still pretty fine and math hasn't started killing me yet (at least i hope not but i've been asking everyone for help in it so...) gp's stressing me out cos i can't read fast so i can't do the paper under the time limit. pw's... we haven't exactly started w it yet but i'm hoping that i get some ppl that i'm close to (aka marcus, weiquan, sharmaine, jolene, hilary, clara << in no order of preference ohkay) in my group and i really don't mind ayesha too cos she's really nice and frie...