Frustratingly Mediocre

So many missed opportunities over one trip. Is it really worth it? I question myself this time and time again. But the tickets have been bought and i would assume the space has already been saved for me. So i just have to go ahead, right?

I remember once when I was younger, I told my mum something along the lines of "I think I'm really such a lucky person. Like I got the best family anyone could ever have," and now that I've grown up and looked back at all the different things my family has done for me, I really think God has blessed me with the best family - parents, brother - that can ever roam this earth. This is not me boasting about how I'm so lucky, but me being so thankful over how much God has blessed me with this extremely loving family. I mean, usually people will say that in every family there is bound to be one aspect that is lacking and can certainly improve further.  Maybe for some it's how the family handles finances, or how the family handles their relationships or how the family handles conflict. I'm not saying that my family is completely perfect and has nothing to improve on, but I would say we're pretty darn near perfect. HAHA. Like really. Who else can say that ...

I seem to be having a lot of second thoughts that cause quite a bit of anxiety in me lately. Recently, like literally a few minutes ago it's about this new pair of shoes I just bought like an hour ago. It seems to fit a little big even though it's us8 (I'm us9) and I already asked for a smaller size when buying jn. And now I keep having thoughts like omg why didn't I ask to try size 7???? What if that fits better instead??? Hello slx you just spent $40 on a pair of shoes that might be a little big for your feet???!?!?!?!?!!?!!! But I think I really need to know to calm down and since I'm already wearing it, since my second thoughts only started coming in after I cut the tags and wore it out, I really just have to learn that it's ohkay . It's ohkay if we make mistakes, it's ohkay if sometimes things don't fit perfectly. Sometimes we make mistakes and sometimes we don't make the best choices. But it's ohkay because it's through mistakes t...

"Did you check? Have I paid you back (for the amount I spent on the subsidiary card last month)?" "Not yet." "Not yet as in you haven't checked or I haven't paid?" "Not yet as in I haven't checked." As I utter those words, I'm brought back to a time in my childhood. A time probably a decade ago, when I was a mere 10-year-old child (hopefully not) imposing on my cousins and having a sleepover at their house. Back then, the youngest older cousin would have been 20 - 10 years older than me. And as I lay in my make-shift bed, listening to her discuss with one of her older sisters on money issues - "You pay me already?" "I pay already right?" "How much I owe you?" - I remember saying something along the lines of "wow... I thought all siblings just shared the money they had and are not so 計較 over money matters" and she had said that they preferred to keep track of their expenses and spend the...

Now it smells like freaking soap and not the smell im used to anymore. I cant even come home in peace f u la walao i came home looking forward to the smell and it's all freaking gone

Omg wtf freaking rude???????? How long have u known me how many times have i said NOT to wash it. And you still have the bloody nerve to laugh and think it's nothing. Freaking hell there's a specific smell and it's been here for so long alr even before nainai passed away and now IT'S JUST ALL FREAKING GONE. Thanks a lot H8 u Never felt the urge to say the f word so much in a long while it's literally on the tip of my mouth u have no idea how much i want to type it Totally Completely Rude Insensitive Dont even understand me I tell you You just dont freaking bothering listening or remmebering or understanding Gtfo

this is something that came to my mind like yesterday or something but i thought it was something worth thinking about and it's quite cool? so basically you know how we always hear stories about how a situation seemed impossible or really difficult but then the protagonist prays a lot and submits the situation to God and then somehow everything MAGICALLY works out the way they need it to? like yknow maybe say they really really really needed to get a flight to this country on this day at this very specific time but the flight was full so they prayed really hard for a ticket there and then somehow a day or two before dday there's suddenly space and they can fly? and then it's really just showing God's provision and how He has everything planned for us and we really needn't worry? i was thinking about that as i thought about how my tickets to korea were cancelled. sometimes when God acts like that when He causes near miracles, it makes you wonder, just how did He ...

idk why but recently i've become like... very reticent??? like i can't help but think back to the days when i was still a young kid that bothered my parents day and night about when i can go out and be amazed at the 180 i did. like now, i barely even reply messages anymore. i just mute my phone and put it on do not disturb. like. there's nothing troubling me but i just don't want to talk to people. i just don't want to talk and interact w others it feels like such a chore??? like to reply messages, to talk to others, to leave the house past the hub for lunch kind of thing? it seems to be such a bother to just go out now and i don't understand this. i guess sometimes i still really do like going out? like i enjoy going out with friends and spending time with them but the inertia to go out is really so extremely strong. it's like procrastination but instead of it being in terms of homework it's in terms of going out and meeting people. is this somethin...