Frustratingly Mediocre

i really should be doing my transcription now but i had to note this down hahaha jn in small grp we had this time of affirmation where we just went in a circle and everyone said something they wanted to affirm you about and one thing i got was that i saw God in the little things in life. she said that through my thanksgivings and stuff like that, she could see that i saw God in the little things in life (or something along those lines haha). and another told me that i had a lot of childlike faith. tbh i never really realised it? i never really realised that to me, all the little things in life that i had i attributed it to Him. like... idk hahah gosh i sound awfully self-absorbed right now. i'm not kay. it's just that today i found out something new about myself again (: so yeah, really so thankful for this small group for all the fun and laughter and all the conversations we had about our faith or about questions regarding our faith. so thankful to have come to rvrc to meet th...

hey i know it's like very schizo for me to be posting something like that after my previous post was so positive but it's something that's been on my mind so i really wanted to write it down. i know u know the address to my blog and idk if u're still reading it now but hey, if u are then yay at least u get to see this hahaha if not then. well, i'll still continue anyway i'm really sorry i'm really sorry for causing so much problems i'm really sorry for being such a burden in this whole trip planning process. i really feel like such a hypocrite right now. after hearing all your horror stories of your friends ditching you and just flying without caring about you, i told myself not to be like that. i wanted to make this whole trip planning process as painless and simple as possible. i didn't want to be one of those annoying friends that's always like this one cannot that one cannot but i guess i am in the end i still am i'm really sorry for havi...

my assumption is that igstory quality is quite horrible so the words can't be read. here's what was written and i just really wanted to note it down here since this blog has followed me through so many events in my life (although i've just gradually decreased the amount of things i blog abt bc procrastinating and lazy and also a lot of time la hor hhahahahha but i'll still try i guess?)  So i made the mistake of typing it straight on ig story and the whole thing got deleted by accident hais ;-; 13 April 2018 First time leading worship in cell. Or really anywhere tbh. And boy was i scared/stressed/anxious/fearful/worried. Did i choose the right songs? What if these songs arent the right songs? Would everyone like the songs? Would the songs even speak to someone? What if i sing off key? What if i don't know where to come in? What if i like break the moment or something like that? Heck would i even know how to close in prayer? What are the words i would say (no pun int...