Frustratingly Mediocre

first things first, HAPPY BIRTHDAY MY NERDY BABY BOY!!! ♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡ XD i'm not gonna be editing the html and stuff, because it's 1. difficult 2. time consuming and i don't have a lot of time on my hands now sigh. anyways, starlights chanted his name six times in their perf ytd!!! awww!!! xD i think he cried??? hehe ohkay there're many things to talk about and stuff but i just wanna say a few words first cos sometimes i really dont know what to talk about??? i really hope that he's healthy and happy and fine and yeah~ i know that because of his wig, he actually got really sweaty to the extent that he had headaches ): poor thing >< really hope they weren't like those freaking pain pounding headaches >< and also he said his filming is far from their dorm or something so he misses his members? awww.... that's sad ): i'm kindda bummed that i pretty much only get to see him for one minute in every single ep of hotel king BUT IT'S OHKAY. because t...

WHADDUP MA PEEPS hhahaha ohkay as y'all know, i attended RAD's Summer School and omg it was an amazing experience. i want to go for more!! it was so fun and enjoyable and i learnt  a lot of new things there! i'm so thankful for the teachers, esp because they kindda overestimated us and they were a little bit like "you can't do that???" hahaha. so i'm thankful for their patience ^~^ one of the reasons why i put it off for so long is actually cos i'm waiting for my friend to send me the photos that we took but i think she's lazy so meh. i gave up on waiting and just decided to blog xD if she ever sends it to me, i'll see if i remember to put it up here which is never d ay one ! it was the worst day for me ): because i had fever the previous day, so i was running a slight one as i left the house. and mummy gave me the directions to joochiat cc but i still got a little lost. was flaring up at my phone for it's lagginess omg. even my iphone whic...

well shit i cut my hair waaaaaaaaaaaay too short than it was supposed to be omg. just my fringe, but my fringe is in front of my forehead so pretty much everyone can see it!!!! omg D: it's really short and it makes me look damn retarded ohkay like ohkay it does  make me look younger but not the young yet still mature type of young. but the really young young . sigh. it should grow back in about a week or two, right? like obviously not to the length it was but at least not so retarded right? to give you at least a rough idea, this is how my fringe looks like now. it's about two thirds of hyukkie's fringe. can you imagine it?!??!?!??!!??!!??!?!? my goodness like hyuk looks not bad not my favourite hairstyle of his but not bad  and i just look like shit i'm seriously contemplating to use hair gel or smth to make sure my hair stays tmr cos as long as it's swept to the side, it looks fine. unfortunately, i naturally have a centre parting and gravitiy does its job so it k...

So, it's 4:36 am, and I have been trying to sleep since around 2:30. I don't get it. Why can't I jus sleep properly??? It's not like I have insomnia or anything. I don't have any trouble staying in sleep. For me, I always cannot sleep. But once I sleep, I'm a dead log lolx But anyways yeah here's another episode of me thinking and stuff and I really think I should stop thinking so much. Maybe that's why I cant sleep. But I can't help it. I will automatically think of many many many things!!!  Anyways I was just thinking how I call the ppl around me now. Like I called EYJJ with the jiejie at the back and I was just thinking what it'd be like when I'm old. Like what I'm in my 30s and 40s and stuff.  Like now I add jiejie at the back it's nth but what about when I have my own kids?? Lolx  And also time seems to past so so so quickly. I'm already 16!! It's hard to believe that. Like woah. Imagine. I still remember being 13 and bei...

plox you addicted to your game what help can you give me man

I thought these thoughts have left me for good... For a long time already. Probably for half my life. Why are they coming back up again for me? I'm not as fearful as back then, and now that I have someone that I can trust and put my faith in, I'm not as unsure anymore. But why are these thoughts coming back to haunt me as of late?  It's a taboo thing to say almost everywhere. Death. Have you ever thought of that? I assure you that I'm not afraid of death because I trust in the Lord and believe that I will go to heaven. But i'm just unsure. So unsure. Like what about those of other religions? What happens to them? Do they really go to hell?  We're all sinners. We've done many bad things, committed so many sins. I'm thankful for the Lord for forgiving me. I try my best not to sin but I guess sometimes it's also just part of human nature. The only person that didn't sin in His whole life is Jesus Christ.  So yeah, just thinking. Like I really want t...

haha ohkay so just now me and daddy sent kor off for him to go back to army. so yeah dinner and everything was pretty ohkay i guess? the chilled chicken thingy wasn't very chill tho lolx ohkay that's not my point so anyways when we were gg back, i sat in the front w daddy and then we drove past this bus w the ns ppl boarding. and apparently kor was there or smth? idk i know he messaged that he was in the bus next to us but by the time we got the message, we alr passed the bus so now he replies that his friend saw me and said that i sat v obscenely HAHA ohkay i don't rmb how i was sitting but i bet it must be the jiaokaikai one la. but nvm luh i not wearing skirt hahhaha IT'S COMFORTABLE OHKAY. i don't get why we can't sit w our legs open even when we're wearing pants. like skirt ohkay i understand yknow. we no want to give free show but pants???? it's not like i'm vulnerable if i sit w my legs open right. if anything i think guys have it worse off lo...

ayo whaddup guys i know i owe you many things that i'm not sure if i'll really be able to write it down although i'm really hoping i do but i just decided to write about this first since it's still fresh in my memory adn everything and i'm quite sure that the novelty's gonna wear off so let me write about this first before i become uninterested in this again whoops hahhahahha ohkay so yesterday while i was over,   like usual  , i was watching spirited away w pea. actually we started watching it on monday or something? but didn't continue cos i knew we had to study and auntie took the ipad when she got back home so we couldn't watch it after we studied otl. i heard about this show some time in p6 when my form teacher then, mr tan, showed it to us. it was after psle alr so everyone was damn chill and everything. then i think mr tan said something about showing us a movie but then he couldn't show the whole thing cos yknow one period was only 30 mins th...

Ohkay so it was still really messy but the audience clapped???? Omg 台上三分钟，台下五天工。 Idk ill ask mummy abt it later. I think i didnt show enough enthusiasm???? I think i did really badly imo. Sigh Ohkay ill text mummy I hope it was watchable >< Hope™

ITs been such a long time since ive felt like this...... We're performing soon.... but our dance is so messy! MIss becky didnt clean it up but im hoping we will do well! Esp since this group thats currently performing is freaking good and im feeling some pressure. I want to do well but im also scared that we'll be too messy. Pray. Trust the Lord. I believe that He will help us (: 爷爷，您有看我们的舞蹈吗？ Hope™

yknow idk why i keep forgetting about such days? like i always know it's the 13th but i keep forgetting that it's a friday... speaking of which, six months ago, it's also a friday. it's been six months since yeye passed away. but it's ohkay because he's not suffering anymore and he lives in my heart (: i haven't been updating the letters to my grandfather blog and i'm kind of thinking of stopping it.. not because i've become lazy, but because i talk to yeye like that just every normal day. i don't have to have a blog to be able to talk to him! maybe i should close it soon... even though it's already saturday where i am, happy friday the 13th! yeye woaini! ♡ Hope™

So im early for my summer camp thing now and imma blog. WHIle i was walking here from my bus stop, these two women decided to let me pass first which was weird cos idek what happened??? Like i was just walking behind them then they suddenly let me walk in front so i was like ohkay lor. I was looking around abit too cos today is the first time i try this route. THen the woman was like "youngesters these days no manners, never even say thank you" plox i didnt even need u to give way. APparently i was pushing from the back???? Bitch i did no auch thing thx. DOnt feel like explaining myself hahaha. It'll be damn hilarious if i turned around and shouted "thank you la, bitch! YOu fucking happy now???" Hahaajajajahahaaa xDDDDD ANyways,,,,, cant wait for today's lesson to start! Fever's down so thank God! PROlly will meet mummy and siyi ltr at the airport ^~^ So many things, so little time. Hope™

I'm awake at 7 without falling back asleep!!!! 6 actually, woke up around 5:50 and couldn't really sleep Liao So I wasn't feeling well ytd and took a Panadol + lozenges before gg to slp at arnd 10++??? And then I kept waking up on off on off at like 2, 4 and almost 6.  At almost 6, I think I actually developed a slight fever so I took 2 panadols and one lozenges before gg to sleep. But i didn't fall back asleep hahahhaa. Was day(or night?)dreaming for such a long time that by the time I got back to reality, my sore throat was pretty much gone and my fever too!!!  Really really have to thank God for this! I have rad summer camp later and I was being so worried that I wouldn't be able to go cos I was so looking forward to it. I must really thank Him! I prayed a lot hahaha xD  Can't wait for summer camp later!!!!  And I really can't fall back asleep HAHAHHA  #VIXX2ndWIN #VIXXEternity1stWin Hope™

I'm glad we've gone past that stage of singing this to our friends when it's their birthday hehe woke up to mummy wishing me a happy birthday today! (: then i met rachel and felicia at tamp mrt! there was a moth in the carriage hahahaha moths are so common these days xP and when we took the bus to school, we missed our stop because i think everyone just thought that someone else would press the bell so we all didn't press the bell. ended up having to walk back, to which quite a number of people complained was long, but i don't really see how long it actually is school was... ohkay? mon wished me a happy birthday hahaha xD went to avt for eng first and i think karen was tehre from the start??? lol she didn't even go down to the courtyard for 'assembly'. xP then she passed me my present! a card and dutch shortcake~ hehe xD look at how a ghenios spells reservoir. or should ni say resvoir xD  there's something at the back, but it's mostly her spazzin...

Happy birthday to me (: Passed it listening to Eternity and writing my new fic! I'm really hoping that i don't go out of point with this one cos it's kindda close to my heart i guess otl what am i even saying. i'm a year older now but i guess i don't really feel very special? it's ohkay. because i'm thankful that i was born a healthy baby on this day 16 years ago. i'm thankful to the Lord for that, for letting me have a life like this so far. i have ups and downs, but what's a fun rollercoaster without such dips and lifts, right? i should either get back to my fic or my work. well. i guess i should get back to my work if i can even think of anything for it ._.

so i just can't enjoy my day? i hate it that i have to go to school tomorrow. holidays my ass. it's ohkay. i can survive on three hours of sleep it makes so difference if i had six. calm down. just go to sleep. i'll be fine you don't have to worry about me ohkay. i'll wake up by myself i'll go to school by myself. i'll settle everything by myself ohkay? aren't i turning 16 tmr? i'll do everything by myself, ohkay? sweep the floor fold the clothes study go to school whatever. enjoy my life? hopefully.  sorry for starting june on such a bad note... i still have sundown and my outing w the idiots to blog about. sorry. idek what to do now i really wanna continue my fic because it relates a lot to me so... sigh whatever. i think she's sleeping already that's good don't worry about me, kay? Hope™ happy birthday in 11 minutes.