Frustratingly Mediocre

omg ohkay. so after talking about going to london since like what last year september??? the deed is finally done. ive finalised my london plans. the tickets have been booked and everything. plans in london are also on their way and everything is just like gahh omg getting so real???? and like omg honestly as much as im excited im also so scared?? because like idk i guess i'm quite scared that like something last minute would crop up or stuff and it would cause me to have no choice but to not go for this trip. like the thing is that daddy actually used his miles to redeem this trip for me. so i really REALLY have to go or else tens of thousands of his miles are gone to waste. and like.. idk man i feel like this is really stressing me a lot because so much money and everything is at stake here and i really just dont wanna waste anything???? so like idk ah hahahah ohkay so one of the things that i guess bother me a bit is because i'm really gonna go through with auditioning and s...

At this point in my life, i really just feel like dropping everything and not studying anymore. All the uni apps, the scholarship apps, uni fees and referees needed... im really just quite tired and sick of everything. But you know what? Praise be to God!!!! I was nearly about to flip a table then just now when i realised that i needed a referee to apply for nus scholarship and the referee needs to send in the deets THIS SUNDAY. It aint even like 1 week or 5 days notice it's literally 3 days. And i was srsly so sian and frustrated w myself cos like i know the tchrs arent gonna like it??? But i had no choice so i just bit the bullet and sent it to three teachers. The first to reply was mr tang. He said if it aint art related he cant rly help. And that he wasnt v free. The second was mr chia and i think cos he's a new teacher, he doesnt rly know what to write and stuff. And i either either LMAO (._.)  So like i just sent him what nus required and he didnt get back to me. By then ...

Sigh. Idk honestly i feel so cheated and frustrated at myself rn. Why is it that i keep telling myself to have patience and everytime i think i do i turn out i dont??? Why is it that i want to get things done so fast?? Im honestly so frustrated w myself rn. This is gonna be abt my whole learning driving exp. Honestly rn i feel quite regretful that i signed up for both the theory and practical lessons here at cdc (comfort delgro driving centre at ubi)???? But oh wells what can i do right? It's already over and the money has already been paid. This money sucking business aint gonna refund me no shit ._. I rmb feeling so annoyed that i had not signed up to learn how to drive. And when i did it was just like BAM BAM BAM full force ahead. Turns out rather than cdc being smth that would rly help me it's just throwing road blocks after road blocks in my face. Spike strips, concrete barriers, you name it they did it. So the first thing is that bc they're a sch they have so many stu...

aaaaaa i have so many things to blog about but i just keep procrastinating on doing it ))): also like idk i think bc i was so hooked onto dots that like a lot of the time i just end up watching eps or reruns or certain cuts of scenes of something. i'm much more active on my private insta where i also talk abt life (@missingseoul). i may change the un in the future as of now it's still undecided. it's private but eh i guess whoever's even reading this in the future will be able to crack the code or whatever to go view it HAHA. i have nth to hide there tho it's just rly a spam acc where i talk abt my daily shizz so yeah. not like there're any juicy secrets hidden there HAHA ohkay anyways, so guess what???? I FINALLY DYED MY HAIR OMG EVER SINCE TALKING ABT IT DURING O'S, I'VE FINALLY MANAGED TO DYE MY HAIR!!!!!! initially mummy and daddy were super super against me dyeing my hair which is why i never got around doing it back then in o's (that and also b...