Overflowing Thankfulness
I remember once when I was younger, I told my mum something along the lines of "I think I'm really such a lucky person. Like I got the best family anyone could ever have," and now that I've grown up and looked back at all the different things my family has done for me, I really think God has blessed me with the best family - parents, brother - that can ever roam this earth.
This is not me boasting about how I'm so lucky, but me being so thankful over how much God has blessed me with this extremely loving family.
I mean, usually people will say that in every family there is bound to be one aspect that is lacking and can certainly improve further. Maybe for some it's how the family handles finances, or how the family handles their relationships or how the family handles conflict. I'm not saying that my family is completely perfect and has nothing to improve on, but I would say we're pretty darn near perfect. HAHA. Like really. Who else can say that their family doesn't have issues with favouritism or unintentional neglect of children? Who else can say that their family doesn't have disputes over finances and will gladly help each other out and can talk about finance without making it too much of a taboo? Admittedly, there are definitely things that my family can improve on that I shan't share because I myself am not 100% sure and some stuff are a little private. But hey, yknow, when I look at this small family of 4 that God has blessed me with, I can't help but be more and more and more thankful each day to be born in this time into this family. They are the #goals everyone talks about man I want to make (?) a family like that when I grow up too.
Although I have to be awake by 5:30 and it's already 1:10, the recent happenings just make me feel like I really have to document my thankfulness down. These people in my life need to know how much they mean to me and how thankful I am for them even though I'm shit at expressing it and it may seem like I'm always angry at them or ignoring them or what but NO I really really really love and appreciate all of you and I'm so thankful for all of you!!!!!!!
Side track: recent happenings is that basically I was super stressed over buying tickets to Korea for my Mokpo exchange thingy and Daddy stepped in to help me with dealing with all the flights and stuff and even spent his hard-earned miles to redeem a flight from Singapore to Korea on SQ just for me to get the exact dates that I prefer. AGAIN. He did this the last time when I went to London last year too. And when I actually got the go-ahead to reach a little later than expected (that would have resulted in a $600 direct flight), I had already redeemed the tickets for Korea and so I was super stressed out about it because Daddy could have saved his miles and not spent them on me but then he was really ohkay with it and was trying to keep me from like idk having a mental breakdown in the living room of my house or something and I just felt so thankful and also guilty that I don't know how to ever express such thankfulness to him - even in letter form. So like ya, I just wanted to write a letter to each of my family members.
Even though I don't know if y'all will ever read this (considering making my blog public like actually putting it in my SNS bios), I still want to write it down so in the event that y'all ever find this, I want y'all to know how much I love and appreciate y'all and how thankful I am for y'all and how much I like to show y'all off to people (sometimes la hahah) and let them know what an amazing family I have been blessed with.
Daddy:
Hey Daddy! Do you know how thankful I am for you? I don't think I've ever mentioned it to your face before and I don't think I've even like said "I love you" or anything ever before. Sometimes I wonder if you know how much I love and appreciate you and how thankful I am for you? I'm really sorry that I can't express myself well, that sometimes I feel awkward going into deep talks and would want to avoid such things even though I just want to connect with you so much.
Thank you so much for raising me all these 20 years, for enduring the hurt I gave you when I yelled at you, got upset at you and said that I hated you. Thank you for persevering through all the rubbish that comes with being my father. Thank you for always buying me the toys, gadgets, albums, etc. that I always wanted.
When I was a child, thank you for taking the time to search for pictures that you could print so that I could colour. Thank you for the patience you had when you were teaching me how to use the computer. Thank you for driving me around, for carrying me when I was too lazy to walk and for really being there for me and giving up your own comfort for mine. Thank you for always thinking about me and what I would like/want and what would benefit me. Thank you for putting me before you.
When I was a teenager, thank you for buying all those albums I wanted. Thank you for spending the time that you could have used resting, or enjoying yourself to scour music shops or night markets to get the albums or gadgets that I wanted. Thank you for being so patient with me, letting me bother you to teach me Chinese. Thank you for sending me everywhere, even if you had to wake up at ungodly hours, or basically just end up spending a few hours being my personal chauffeur. Thank you for funding my shopaholic tendencies and my 不知道钱难赚 days when I spent money like water. Thank you for working so hard, pushing through all the fatigue and sickness just so this family can have a stable income and a comfortable life.
Now that I'm an adult, thank you for dealing with my childish and foolish tendencies. Thank you for dealing with my outbursts. Thank you for dealing with my driving that gives anyone high blood pressure. Thank you for all the advice and tips that you give me not only in driving but in life in general. Thank you for all the times you listened to me talk as if I'm some tuapai or expert in kpop. Thank you for being genuinely interested in what I feel about kpop, and even getting into some kdramas and stuff like that. Thank you for watching all those movies with me, spending so much time with me and really just giving up so much for me. I can't seem to ever thank you enough for all that you have done for me in the past 20 years of my life and what you will do in the future.
I'm sorry for all the times that I've hurt you with my callous words and selfish thoughts. I'm sorry if I ever broke your heart because of what I said or did. I truly am. I'm sorry that sometimes I seem like I don't care or that you aren't my priority because you are. The whole family is. There are so many days where I just think of how little time I've spent with y'all and how much I want to go home and just be with y'all. But somehow, when we're all home together, we don't talk much. Please don't take it as me ignoring you or anything, it's just that sometimes I really like the comfort, knowing that you're here and you're just one shout away at your desk.
I'm sorry for all the times I got annoyed at you because you were snooping in on my personal life. I know that as a parent, you really wanted to get to know me, know who I am and what are my thoughts and everything. I know that you want to know me better and know me well, and know what I think on a daily basis. Honestly, I think I'm fine-ish with that, as long as you don't bring it up in conversations because that's just really weird. I'm sorry for blocking you on my SNS from time to time.... Haha. Please also remember that as much as you like and value your own privacy, I do mine too. So I will share things with you if I feel comfortable to, and if I feel like I want to - no need to do some creepo stalking on my accounts or anything. Trust me, I will talk to you and I am! I'm trying to talk to you more and more and talk about more things and have meaningful conversations. Sometimes, the words just don't come and so I can't talk much in the end but trust me, in moments of my silence when I'm out with the family, I'm really thinking hard about what can I say and how can I start a lively family conversation that will bring warmth to my heart.
There's so much more I have to say and so much more that I simply cannot put in words. But please know that I love you very very much and it's not because of all the material things you have gifted me, but because of all the love that you have given me and I want to give the same amount or even more back to you too - I just don't know if you can feel it. Fun fact: every time Mummy jokes on those 你看，女儿多疼你 moments is because I'm reminded of how much you sacrificed and gave up for this family all the years I've been sentient and I want you to have a time to enjoy and to have things your way and for you. Like all those times you gave up on eating some food because we wanted it instead, when you gave up on certain park rides so that we could ride more rides instead, when you bore the heat and weight of everything we carried and lugged around our stuff so that we could walk comfortably, when I think about it, I just feel so bad that I had been so selfish and oblivious back then that I didn't know how to help you and make you more comfortable. So I'm trying to make up for it now hahahaha.
I'll grow up well, and I'll repay you back for all the love you've given me. I will.
Mummy:
Hello Mummy! Words can't express how thankful I am to have you as my mother. Thank you for carrying me for 9 months and then enduring so much pain just to bring me to this earth. I don't think I ever say it to your face that I love you and I really hope that you know how much I love you because I'm just really bad at expressing myself. I know that you're quite sensitive and emotional, and I really hope that my childish and selfish actions in the past haven't hurt you too badly or left a wound that would ever heal in your heart. Thank you, Mummy, for the love you've given me all these years.
Before you became a mother, you were so slim but because of us, you gained 10kg and became definitely a lot plumper. But please don't be mistaken - this doesn't make you any less beautiful. No matter what, you will always be my pretty Mummy! Thank you for sacrificing so much for me. Thank you for loving me so unconditionally throughout my life, even in times where I couldn't understand your love.
Thank you for tolerating my incessant alarm clocks, and for waking up so so so super early back when I still had normal school hours. Even though you always say stuff like "I'm not gonna be waking you up," or "you handle this yourself," 你还是不忍心 and you would come and help me out and still do things for me. Thank you for always waking up earlier than me to prepare food for me to bring to school and eat. I'm sorry that sometimes, I didn't know how to appreciate it and would find the repeated food boring and end up throwing the bread away. Thank you for following Daddy around when he would send me places because you didn't want him to be alone after I've alighted - even though you could've spent that time doing your own things, you chose to spend it in the car with us.
Thank you so much for working so hard for this family, for giving up on a ton of leisure time just to cook and clean for us. During those times when I had to be "in charge" of the house was when I really realised just how much of your leisure you sacrifice each day just to keep the house in order. Thank you for putting our needs before your own, for making sure our lives are comfortable before yours is. I'm sorry that I overlooked your contributions so many times and didn't give you proper credit for all that you did. I'm sorry that sometimes I joke about you being lazy because you're resting due to your various ailments. I'm sorry that I still don't help to clean up this house and instead make it more messy. I'm trying, really, but I'm legit a messy person by nature and it's really difficult hahaha. I'm sorry that sometimes, I just make your job more difficult for you.
I know you nag a lot and you nag a lot for our own good. When I was young, I used to think all your nagging was annoying and useless. But now when I've grown up, I see just how much meaning and goodwill there was in your nagging. How you didn't want us to make the same mistakes you did when you were our age. I'm sorry that I used to mock your nagging and not pay attention to it. I really hope I haven't caused you too much hurt because of it. I'm sorry for the times where I would indirectly tell you to shut up because I didn't want to hear your nagging anymore.
Mummy, thank you for tolerating all the nonsense that I throw at you. Thank you for tolerating me when I was being rude to you. You always said that you pamper me too much and I would disagree but really, yeah, I think you really do pamper me but I'm not complaining!!! Hahahha. I'm sorry that when I was younger, I took all these for granted and that I'd treat it as if everything was supposed to be like that when in actual fact you really gave up a lot for me. Thank you for being so kind and loving in teaching me valuable life lessons. I'm really sorry for letting my anger get the better of me, and then unleashing it unto you.
Thank you for all the yummy food you've cooked for me. When you could've just ordered food, you instead too the time to prepare the food that we liked and spent the time you could have spent reading newspapers to make food for us. Thank you so much.
Thank you also, for funding the shopaholic in me and even joining in on my shopaholic escapades. Thank you for always thinking of me when you go overseas, when you would buy more things for me than for all the other three of y'all combined. Thank you for always thinking things like "Lee Xian would like this," or "Lee Xian would look good in this," and things like that when you go overseas. Thank you for always putting me on the forefront of your mind. I really hope you know just how much I love you, and that all those joking insults were really just meant to be jokes. I really hope none of them hurt you and I'm sorry if I belittled your issues. I hope you know that I really care about you, and despite all the joking insults about your ailments that sometimes hinder your mobility, I will always be there for you to grab onto when you walk. I will be there to help you up slopes when it gets tiring.
Thank you for giving up your life for mine. I want to give even more back to you.
Kor Kor:
Hi Kor! This is kind of weird because I feel like we never ever talk about things like that? Hahahaha. Like we never ever talk about all these serious things or rather I guess I don't ever really express my appreciation and love for you? Oh dear it feels so weird even saying that I love you because even though we've grown up together I feel like we've never ever ever ever reached this level and I'm totally fine with it just that it kind of feels weird when I'm doing it now hahahaha. So yeah, just wanted to say just how thankful I am to have you as my brother.
Even though sometimes I like to complain that you usually know anyone I know, I always think that that's such a cool thing and I like it. I like it that you know the people I know because then when I show off just who my brother is, they actually have a face and person to match it with. I always like to say that if all else fails I'll leech off you and well, I really hope I don't end up a failure but hey, look at how much faith I have in you ya! Hahahaha
Thank you for always being there for me, for talking to me and really just giving me the realest advice there is out there. The things you say always make so much sense that your few sentences in a few seconds can calm the hurricane that's been brewing in my mind for days. Your view to life and the things in it is amazing and I feel like there's so much I can learn from you. Thank you for always giving me so much advice, for being the older one who has gone through so much more to be able to give such great advice to your younger sister. Thank you for being really the best brother out there anyone can ask for. Thank you for being my part-time personal chauffeur, especially in sending me to and from school. Thank you for treating me to so many meals and buying so so so many things for me. I think the whole family funds my shopaholic tendencies oh goodness this is bad HAHA.
Even though we don't really talk all that much and somehow we can't really seem to hold that much of a conversation, I really hope you know just how important you are to me. I really appreciate you so much and I'm so thankful to have you as my brother. I'm someone who can't give much and doesn't know much and only knows how to take. Thank you so much for giving so much to me these past 20 years, for loving me and taking care of me and watching out for me.
I think we'll never actually reach a stage of being like close friends like how I am with the neighbours but hey, you're not any less of a sibling, ohkay? You're my actual brother and no matter how much I say and joke about you, I'm really so thankful to be your sister.
I'm sorry if I had ever hurt you in the past, during my days of being annoying, when I would try to act big and act as if I didn't care. I really do care about you and I'm sorry for all the inconvenience I caused to you. You're the best brother anyone can ask for and I can't believe my luck to be able to have a brother like you.
You're really amazing! Although we may never really ever talk all that comfortably, if you're reading this, just know how much you mean to me. It feels like we're the kind where even though we don't talk much, we appreciate each others' presence (or at least I hope you appreciate mine LOL) and enjoy spending time just knowing the other person is in the same house.
Thank you for giving up so much for me. Thank you for being the nice older brother that everything also 让妹妹 just because I'm younger. From bolsters, to computer time, etc. etc. etc. Thank you for (maybe sometimes unwillingly) willingly giving it up for me instead. I'm sorry for all the times that I caused you to be scolded just because you were the older one even if we were both at fault or if it was me at fault but you got the brunt of the scolding. Thank you, Kor.
God bless you! I'm truly so blessed to have you as my brother.
I feel like I've only been taking so far in my life. I've taken so much from my family and I really really really hope to be able to give back even more to this bunch of people who have loved and cared for me so unconditionally. There's so much left unsaid and probably will never be said but just remember that I love you all. There are so many things that you've all done for me that I remember very clearly in my head and I'm just so thankful.
Father Lord,
Thank You, Lord, for practically letting me strike the family lottery and getting the best family out there anyone can have. Thank You for blessing me with such a loving family that will always take care of me and give so much for me. Lord, I pray that for as much as I have received, I will be able to give back and more. I want to be able to show them just how much they mean to me.
Father, I pray that I will also be able to give back to the society around me. Since you've blessed me with so much, with this beautiful family, Lord, I pray that I will be able to help those who may not have that happy of a family. I pray that I will be able to serve those who need someone to be their pillar or their listening ear. Lord, help me to be obedient, selfless and humble as the opportunities to serve arise around me. Help me to learn to prioritise and to put them as my priority, Lord.
Thank You once again for this amazing family You have blessed me with, Lord.
In Jesus' Name I pray,
Amen
It's currently 3:33. I don't think I'll be sleeping tonight but that's fine! I really wanted to finish this up despite all the procrastination I had hahaha. And I'm glad that it's all done now!
Hope™
This is not me boasting about how I'm so lucky, but me being so thankful over how much God has blessed me with this extremely loving family.
I mean, usually people will say that in every family there is bound to be one aspect that is lacking and can certainly improve further. Maybe for some it's how the family handles finances, or how the family handles their relationships or how the family handles conflict. I'm not saying that my family is completely perfect and has nothing to improve on, but I would say we're pretty darn near perfect. HAHA. Like really. Who else can say that their family doesn't have issues with favouritism or unintentional neglect of children? Who else can say that their family doesn't have disputes over finances and will gladly help each other out and can talk about finance without making it too much of a taboo? Admittedly, there are definitely things that my family can improve on that I shan't share because I myself am not 100% sure and some stuff are a little private. But hey, yknow, when I look at this small family of 4 that God has blessed me with, I can't help but be more and more and more thankful each day to be born in this time into this family. They are the #goals everyone talks about man I want to make (?) a family like that when I grow up too.
Although I have to be awake by 5:30 and it's already 1:10, the recent happenings just make me feel like I really have to document my thankfulness down. These people in my life need to know how much they mean to me and how thankful I am for them even though I'm shit at expressing it and it may seem like I'm always angry at them or ignoring them or what but NO I really really really love and appreciate all of you and I'm so thankful for all of you!!!!!!!
Side track: recent happenings is that basically I was super stressed over buying tickets to Korea for my Mokpo exchange thingy and Daddy stepped in to help me with dealing with all the flights and stuff and even spent his hard-earned miles to redeem a flight from Singapore to Korea on SQ just for me to get the exact dates that I prefer. AGAIN. He did this the last time when I went to London last year too. And when I actually got the go-ahead to reach a little later than expected (that would have resulted in a $600 direct flight), I had already redeemed the tickets for Korea and so I was super stressed out about it because Daddy could have saved his miles and not spent them on me but then he was really ohkay with it and was trying to keep me from like idk having a mental breakdown in the living room of my house or something and I just felt so thankful and also guilty that I don't know how to ever express such thankfulness to him - even in letter form. So like ya, I just wanted to write a letter to each of my family members.
Even though I don't know if y'all will ever read this (considering making my blog public like actually putting it in my SNS bios), I still want to write it down so in the event that y'all ever find this, I want y'all to know how much I love and appreciate y'all and how thankful I am for y'all and how much I like to show y'all off to people (sometimes la hahah) and let them know what an amazing family I have been blessed with.
Daddy:
Hey Daddy! Do you know how thankful I am for you? I don't think I've ever mentioned it to your face before and I don't think I've even like said "I love you" or anything ever before. Sometimes I wonder if you know how much I love and appreciate you and how thankful I am for you? I'm really sorry that I can't express myself well, that sometimes I feel awkward going into deep talks and would want to avoid such things even though I just want to connect with you so much.
Thank you so much for raising me all these 20 years, for enduring the hurt I gave you when I yelled at you, got upset at you and said that I hated you. Thank you for persevering through all the rubbish that comes with being my father. Thank you for always buying me the toys, gadgets, albums, etc. that I always wanted.
When I was a child, thank you for taking the time to search for pictures that you could print so that I could colour. Thank you for the patience you had when you were teaching me how to use the computer. Thank you for driving me around, for carrying me when I was too lazy to walk and for really being there for me and giving up your own comfort for mine. Thank you for always thinking about me and what I would like/want and what would benefit me. Thank you for putting me before you.
When I was a teenager, thank you for buying all those albums I wanted. Thank you for spending the time that you could have used resting, or enjoying yourself to scour music shops or night markets to get the albums or gadgets that I wanted. Thank you for being so patient with me, letting me bother you to teach me Chinese. Thank you for sending me everywhere, even if you had to wake up at ungodly hours, or basically just end up spending a few hours being my personal chauffeur. Thank you for funding my shopaholic tendencies and my 不知道钱难赚 days when I spent money like water. Thank you for working so hard, pushing through all the fatigue and sickness just so this family can have a stable income and a comfortable life.
Now that I'm an adult, thank you for dealing with my childish and foolish tendencies. Thank you for dealing with my outbursts. Thank you for dealing with my driving that gives anyone high blood pressure. Thank you for all the advice and tips that you give me not only in driving but in life in general. Thank you for all the times you listened to me talk as if I'm some tuapai or expert in kpop. Thank you for being genuinely interested in what I feel about kpop, and even getting into some kdramas and stuff like that. Thank you for watching all those movies with me, spending so much time with me and really just giving up so much for me. I can't seem to ever thank you enough for all that you have done for me in the past 20 years of my life and what you will do in the future.
I'm sorry for all the times that I've hurt you with my callous words and selfish thoughts. I'm sorry if I ever broke your heart because of what I said or did. I truly am. I'm sorry that sometimes I seem like I don't care or that you aren't my priority because you are. The whole family is. There are so many days where I just think of how little time I've spent with y'all and how much I want to go home and just be with y'all. But somehow, when we're all home together, we don't talk much. Please don't take it as me ignoring you or anything, it's just that sometimes I really like the comfort, knowing that you're here and you're just one shout away at your desk.
I'm sorry for all the times I got annoyed at you because you were snooping in on my personal life. I know that as a parent, you really wanted to get to know me, know who I am and what are my thoughts and everything. I know that you want to know me better and know me well, and know what I think on a daily basis. Honestly, I think I'm fine-ish with that, as long as you don't bring it up in conversations because that's just really weird. I'm sorry for blocking you on my SNS from time to time.... Haha. Please also remember that as much as you like and value your own privacy, I do mine too. So I will share things with you if I feel comfortable to, and if I feel like I want to - no need to do some creepo stalking on my accounts or anything. Trust me, I will talk to you and I am! I'm trying to talk to you more and more and talk about more things and have meaningful conversations. Sometimes, the words just don't come and so I can't talk much in the end but trust me, in moments of my silence when I'm out with the family, I'm really thinking hard about what can I say and how can I start a lively family conversation that will bring warmth to my heart.
There's so much more I have to say and so much more that I simply cannot put in words. But please know that I love you very very much and it's not because of all the material things you have gifted me, but because of all the love that you have given me and I want to give the same amount or even more back to you too - I just don't know if you can feel it. Fun fact: every time Mummy jokes on those 你看，女儿多疼你 moments is because I'm reminded of how much you sacrificed and gave up for this family all the years I've been sentient and I want you to have a time to enjoy and to have things your way and for you. Like all those times you gave up on eating some food because we wanted it instead, when you gave up on certain park rides so that we could ride more rides instead, when you bore the heat and weight of everything we carried and lugged around our stuff so that we could walk comfortably, when I think about it, I just feel so bad that I had been so selfish and oblivious back then that I didn't know how to help you and make you more comfortable. So I'm trying to make up for it now hahahaha.
I'll grow up well, and I'll repay you back for all the love you've given me. I will.
Mummy:
Hello Mummy! Words can't express how thankful I am to have you as my mother. Thank you for carrying me for 9 months and then enduring so much pain just to bring me to this earth. I don't think I ever say it to your face that I love you and I really hope that you know how much I love you because I'm just really bad at expressing myself. I know that you're quite sensitive and emotional, and I really hope that my childish and selfish actions in the past haven't hurt you too badly or left a wound that would ever heal in your heart. Thank you, Mummy, for the love you've given me all these years.
Before you became a mother, you were so slim but because of us, you gained 10kg and became definitely a lot plumper. But please don't be mistaken - this doesn't make you any less beautiful. No matter what, you will always be my pretty Mummy! Thank you for sacrificing so much for me. Thank you for loving me so unconditionally throughout my life, even in times where I couldn't understand your love.
Thank you for tolerating my incessant alarm clocks, and for waking up so so so super early back when I still had normal school hours. Even though you always say stuff like "I'm not gonna be waking you up," or "you handle this yourself," 你还是不忍心 and you would come and help me out and still do things for me. Thank you for always waking up earlier than me to prepare food for me to bring to school and eat. I'm sorry that sometimes, I didn't know how to appreciate it and would find the repeated food boring and end up throwing the bread away. Thank you for following Daddy around when he would send me places because you didn't want him to be alone after I've alighted - even though you could've spent that time doing your own things, you chose to spend it in the car with us.
Thank you so much for working so hard for this family, for giving up on a ton of leisure time just to cook and clean for us. During those times when I had to be "in charge" of the house was when I really realised just how much of your leisure you sacrifice each day just to keep the house in order. Thank you for putting our needs before your own, for making sure our lives are comfortable before yours is. I'm sorry that I overlooked your contributions so many times and didn't give you proper credit for all that you did. I'm sorry that sometimes I joke about you being lazy because you're resting due to your various ailments. I'm sorry that I still don't help to clean up this house and instead make it more messy. I'm trying, really, but I'm legit a messy person by nature and it's really difficult hahaha. I'm sorry that sometimes, I just make your job more difficult for you.
I know you nag a lot and you nag a lot for our own good. When I was young, I used to think all your nagging was annoying and useless. But now when I've grown up, I see just how much meaning and goodwill there was in your nagging. How you didn't want us to make the same mistakes you did when you were our age. I'm sorry that I used to mock your nagging and not pay attention to it. I really hope I haven't caused you too much hurt because of it. I'm sorry for the times where I would indirectly tell you to shut up because I didn't want to hear your nagging anymore.
Mummy, thank you for tolerating all the nonsense that I throw at you. Thank you for tolerating me when I was being rude to you. You always said that you pamper me too much and I would disagree but really, yeah, I think you really do pamper me but I'm not complaining!!! Hahahha. I'm sorry that when I was younger, I took all these for granted and that I'd treat it as if everything was supposed to be like that when in actual fact you really gave up a lot for me. Thank you for being so kind and loving in teaching me valuable life lessons. I'm really sorry for letting my anger get the better of me, and then unleashing it unto you.
Thank you for all the yummy food you've cooked for me. When you could've just ordered food, you instead too the time to prepare the food that we liked and spent the time you could have spent reading newspapers to make food for us. Thank you so much.
Thank you also, for funding the shopaholic in me and even joining in on my shopaholic escapades. Thank you for always thinking of me when you go overseas, when you would buy more things for me than for all the other three of y'all combined. Thank you for always thinking things like "Lee Xian would like this," or "Lee Xian would look good in this," and things like that when you go overseas. Thank you for always putting me on the forefront of your mind. I really hope you know just how much I love you, and that all those joking insults were really just meant to be jokes. I really hope none of them hurt you and I'm sorry if I belittled your issues. I hope you know that I really care about you, and despite all the joking insults about your ailments that sometimes hinder your mobility, I will always be there for you to grab onto when you walk. I will be there to help you up slopes when it gets tiring.
Thank you for giving up your life for mine. I want to give even more back to you.
Kor Kor:
Hi Kor! This is kind of weird because I feel like we never ever talk about things like that? Hahahaha. Like we never ever talk about all these serious things or rather I guess I don't ever really express my appreciation and love for you? Oh dear it feels so weird even saying that I love you because even though we've grown up together I feel like we've never ever ever ever reached this level and I'm totally fine with it just that it kind of feels weird when I'm doing it now hahahaha. So yeah, just wanted to say just how thankful I am to have you as my brother.
Even though sometimes I like to complain that you usually know anyone I know, I always think that that's such a cool thing and I like it. I like it that you know the people I know because then when I show off just who my brother is, they actually have a face and person to match it with. I always like to say that if all else fails I'll leech off you and well, I really hope I don't end up a failure but hey, look at how much faith I have in you ya! Hahahaha
Thank you for always being there for me, for talking to me and really just giving me the realest advice there is out there. The things you say always make so much sense that your few sentences in a few seconds can calm the hurricane that's been brewing in my mind for days. Your view to life and the things in it is amazing and I feel like there's so much I can learn from you. Thank you for always giving me so much advice, for being the older one who has gone through so much more to be able to give such great advice to your younger sister. Thank you for being really the best brother out there anyone can ask for. Thank you for being my part-time personal chauffeur, especially in sending me to and from school. Thank you for treating me to so many meals and buying so so so many things for me. I think the whole family funds my shopaholic tendencies oh goodness this is bad HAHA.
Even though we don't really talk all that much and somehow we can't really seem to hold that much of a conversation, I really hope you know just how important you are to me. I really appreciate you so much and I'm so thankful to have you as my brother. I'm someone who can't give much and doesn't know much and only knows how to take. Thank you so much for giving so much to me these past 20 years, for loving me and taking care of me and watching out for me.
I think we'll never actually reach a stage of being like close friends like how I am with the neighbours but hey, you're not any less of a sibling, ohkay? You're my actual brother and no matter how much I say and joke about you, I'm really so thankful to be your sister.
I'm sorry if I had ever hurt you in the past, during my days of being annoying, when I would try to act big and act as if I didn't care. I really do care about you and I'm sorry for all the inconvenience I caused to you. You're the best brother anyone can ask for and I can't believe my luck to be able to have a brother like you.
You're really amazing! Although we may never really ever talk all that comfortably, if you're reading this, just know how much you mean to me. It feels like we're the kind where even though we don't talk much, we appreciate each others' presence (or at least I hope you appreciate mine LOL) and enjoy spending time just knowing the other person is in the same house.
Thank you for giving up so much for me. Thank you for being the nice older brother that everything also 让妹妹 just because I'm younger. From bolsters, to computer time, etc. etc. etc. Thank you for (maybe sometimes unwillingly) willingly giving it up for me instead. I'm sorry for all the times that I caused you to be scolded just because you were the older one even if we were both at fault or if it was me at fault but you got the brunt of the scolding. Thank you, Kor.
God bless you! I'm truly so blessed to have you as my brother.
I feel like I've only been taking so far in my life. I've taken so much from my family and I really really really hope to be able to give back even more to this bunch of people who have loved and cared for me so unconditionally. There's so much left unsaid and probably will never be said but just remember that I love you all. There are so many things that you've all done for me that I remember very clearly in my head and I'm just so thankful.
Father Lord,
Thank You, Lord, for practically letting me strike the family lottery and getting the best family out there anyone can have. Thank You for blessing me with such a loving family that will always take care of me and give so much for me. Lord, I pray that for as much as I have received, I will be able to give back and more. I want to be able to show them just how much they mean to me.
Father, I pray that I will also be able to give back to the society around me. Since you've blessed me with so much, with this beautiful family, Lord, I pray that I will be able to help those who may not have that happy of a family. I pray that I will be able to serve those who need someone to be their pillar or their listening ear. Lord, help me to be obedient, selfless and humble as the opportunities to serve arise around me. Help me to learn to prioritise and to put them as my priority, Lord.
Thank You once again for this amazing family You have blessed me with, Lord.
In Jesus' Name I pray,
Amen
It's currently 3:33. I don't think I'll be sleeping tonight but that's fine! I really wanted to finish this up despite all the procrastination I had hahaha. And I'm glad that it's all done now!
Hope™
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