the deed is done
omg ohkay. so after talking about going to london since like what last year september??? the deed is finally done. ive finalised my london plans. the tickets have been booked and everything. plans in london are also on their way and everything is just like gahh omg getting so real????
and like omg honestly as much as im excited im also so scared?? because like idk i guess i'm quite scared that like something last minute would crop up or stuff and it would cause me to have no choice but to not go for this trip. like the thing is that daddy actually used his miles to redeem this trip for me. so i really REALLY have to go or else tens of thousands of his miles are gone to waste. and like.. idk man i feel like this is really stressing me a lot because so much money and everything is at stake here and i really just dont wanna waste anything???? so like idk ah hahahah
ohkay so one of the things that i guess bother me a bit is because i'm really gonna go through with auditioning and stuff (yes again i know HAHA cos i feel like i didn't really do well the previous time) and like idk i know this is wishful thinking on my part but yknow just like what if what if something happens and like all my june plans have to be cancelled?? because right now right, my june is comPLETELY packed. from 25may to 10june i will be away on holiday. then from 13june to 24june i will have safvc so this totally just leaves me with like what 8 or 9 days in june free??? and i definitely wanna spend some time w my family and everything so like yeah. an also like yknow i have uni and stuff and i rly dk which uni i will be going into as of now but like.... idk leh like yknow all the camps and everything?? like i know i will be missing some of the camps in june but i think the june camps are not as bad to miss? like it's the july camps that really cannot be missed hahha. but yeah.. idk i guess it's just those spirits of worry and fear creeping up on me again.
ohkay right now it just hit 2am and like i have to wake up latest by 7 tomorrow for work. gg.com cos i'm still gonna be writing quite a bit and stuff HAHA praying that i will be able to take it and that i will be able to wake up ah! haha ><
anyway what was i saying. oh yeah. the whole trip thing. ohkay this isn't blogged but it's written down in the many books i have so i guess i should just blog this here also. the thing is right yesterday i was so super duper stressed about this trip because the tickets were all so expensive?? and like eyjj was telling me how the trip is gonna be quite pricey bc i will actl be tagging along w her family to go to uk. so like apparently she was telling me that her parents can be quite spendthrift overseas and like obv i have to pay for myself right so she was telling me that like it might really cost a lot for me ah to go to uk this time. and honestly at that time i was having some second thoughts as well? but then the thing is right like i've been talking about this for so long already?? so in a sense i guess i felt really obliged to go through with it ah. and like omg i really wanna go uk???? and the thing is like i didn't really have anywhere else to go also cos mummy and daddy don't let me go to korea myself. like i think i legit almost made mummy cry yesterday when i kept talking about going to korea myself. sorry mummy!!! >< but anyways so like yeah. i was quite stressed about it but at the same time i really had to sleep because i had ballet exam this morning.
before i slept i was really praying to God ah, like i was really just honestly telling Him all my troubles and really just wanted to surrender everything to Him and ask for His guidance in my life?? and like idk leh this morning i really just woke up with such conviction like omg ohkay yes i will go to london i will book the tickets. even if i have to take malaysia airlines i will book the tickets and i will fly to london. and idk man. like idk i guess in a way i'm still not very confident? like idk if this is like yknow God speaking to me and guiding me in my life choices. so i really just like... yeah.
then i was talking to mummy and discussing with her like yknow shld i really take the mh flights to london. and my mum was just really telling me to take up daddy's offer of using his krisflyer miles to exchange a ticket for me to fly to uk??? like he did say it yesterday ah and like idk i felt really bad about it??? like he 辛辛苦苦赚 all these miles and here i am spending it all away on oNE trip?? so like yeah i felt really bad ah. but then she was telling me that yknow since now i really do need a ticket to london why not right? bc these miles will expire also what so like if my dad doesn't use them then what's gonna happen? what if we forget the expiry date of the miles and all these accumulated miles go to waste? so rather than scrambling and trying to find something to spend the miles on, she'd rather that we just use it now when i want to go to london. so like yeah idk i feel really bad but then i think this just solidifies the fact that in the future i really have to work hard to give my parents a good life. i want to be able to give them a really relaxed and amazing life. it'll be really nice if everyone would go to my parents and be like "omg u so lucky ur children bring u overseas all the time" HAHAH bc like idk? i think it would really bring them happiness? for us to be able to go overseas as a family even though technically we have all gone our own ways as grown ups? i would be really happy to bring my parents overseas with me and my family next time la i will say that haha idk bc they've really done so much for me in my life and like i think it's only right?? not only do i think it's only right that i do all these for them but also ofc bc i love them and i'm so thankful for them ah. i really think i'm so lucky to have been born into this family?? i'm really so blessed to have them as my earthly parents (:
anyway so yeah the anxiety over the whole ticket thing cos i really don't want the points to go to waste. idk leh i think as i was writing this and just thinking about my parents and everything and how i have been so blessed, i guess i just sort of forgot it??? maybe this is His way of helping me yknow, of telling me that yes this is where He has planned for me. this is the june holidays (although i have so much holidays HAHA) that He has planned for me. He knows everything that will happen in my life and i'm so confident and sure that He will guide me through everything. i need only to be still. He goes with me and will never leave me nor forsake me. i'm confident of that and i'm so thankful (:
really all praise to God ah, that things are turning out this way. and i really just want to commit and surrender all these things to Him and trust fully that everything will work out His way (:
praise the Lord!
Hope™
and like omg honestly as much as im excited im also so scared?? because like idk i guess i'm quite scared that like something last minute would crop up or stuff and it would cause me to have no choice but to not go for this trip. like the thing is that daddy actually used his miles to redeem this trip for me. so i really REALLY have to go or else tens of thousands of his miles are gone to waste. and like.. idk man i feel like this is really stressing me a lot because so much money and everything is at stake here and i really just dont wanna waste anything???? so like idk ah hahahah
ohkay so one of the things that i guess bother me a bit is because i'm really gonna go through with auditioning and stuff (yes again i know HAHA cos i feel like i didn't really do well the previous time) and like idk i know this is wishful thinking on my part but yknow just like what if what if something happens and like all my june plans have to be cancelled?? because right now right, my june is comPLETELY packed. from 25may to 10june i will be away on holiday. then from 13june to 24june i will have safvc so this totally just leaves me with like what 8 or 9 days in june free??? and i definitely wanna spend some time w my family and everything so like yeah. an also like yknow i have uni and stuff and i rly dk which uni i will be going into as of now but like.... idk leh like yknow all the camps and everything?? like i know i will be missing some of the camps in june but i think the june camps are not as bad to miss? like it's the july camps that really cannot be missed hahha. but yeah.. idk i guess it's just those spirits of worry and fear creeping up on me again.
ohkay right now it just hit 2am and like i have to wake up latest by 7 tomorrow for work. gg.com cos i'm still gonna be writing quite a bit and stuff HAHA praying that i will be able to take it and that i will be able to wake up ah! haha ><
anyway what was i saying. oh yeah. the whole trip thing. ohkay this isn't blogged but it's written down in the many books i have so i guess i should just blog this here also. the thing is right yesterday i was so super duper stressed about this trip because the tickets were all so expensive?? and like eyjj was telling me how the trip is gonna be quite pricey bc i will actl be tagging along w her family to go to uk. so like apparently she was telling me that her parents can be quite spendthrift overseas and like obv i have to pay for myself right so she was telling me that like it might really cost a lot for me ah to go to uk this time. and honestly at that time i was having some second thoughts as well? but then the thing is right like i've been talking about this for so long already?? so in a sense i guess i felt really obliged to go through with it ah. and like omg i really wanna go uk???? and the thing is like i didn't really have anywhere else to go also cos mummy and daddy don't let me go to korea myself. like i think i legit almost made mummy cry yesterday when i kept talking about going to korea myself. sorry mummy!!! >< but anyways so like yeah. i was quite stressed about it but at the same time i really had to sleep because i had ballet exam this morning.
before i slept i was really praying to God ah, like i was really just honestly telling Him all my troubles and really just wanted to surrender everything to Him and ask for His guidance in my life?? and like idk leh this morning i really just woke up with such conviction like omg ohkay yes i will go to london i will book the tickets. even if i have to take malaysia airlines i will book the tickets and i will fly to london. and idk man. like idk i guess in a way i'm still not very confident? like idk if this is like yknow God speaking to me and guiding me in my life choices. so i really just like... yeah.
then i was talking to mummy and discussing with her like yknow shld i really take the mh flights to london. and my mum was just really telling me to take up daddy's offer of using his krisflyer miles to exchange a ticket for me to fly to uk??? like he did say it yesterday ah and like idk i felt really bad about it??? like he 辛辛苦苦赚 all these miles and here i am spending it all away on oNE trip?? so like yeah i felt really bad ah. but then she was telling me that yknow since now i really do need a ticket to london why not right? bc these miles will expire also what so like if my dad doesn't use them then what's gonna happen? what if we forget the expiry date of the miles and all these accumulated miles go to waste? so rather than scrambling and trying to find something to spend the miles on, she'd rather that we just use it now when i want to go to london. so like yeah idk i feel really bad but then i think this just solidifies the fact that in the future i really have to work hard to give my parents a good life. i want to be able to give them a really relaxed and amazing life. it'll be really nice if everyone would go to my parents and be like "omg u so lucky ur children bring u overseas all the time" HAHAH bc like idk? i think it would really bring them happiness? for us to be able to go overseas as a family even though technically we have all gone our own ways as grown ups? i would be really happy to bring my parents overseas with me and my family next time la i will say that haha idk bc they've really done so much for me in my life and like i think it's only right?? not only do i think it's only right that i do all these for them but also ofc bc i love them and i'm so thankful for them ah. i really think i'm so lucky to have been born into this family?? i'm really so blessed to have them as my earthly parents (:
anyway so yeah the anxiety over the whole ticket thing cos i really don't want the points to go to waste. idk leh i think as i was writing this and just thinking about my parents and everything and how i have been so blessed, i guess i just sort of forgot it??? maybe this is His way of helping me yknow, of telling me that yes this is where He has planned for me. this is the june holidays (although i have so much holidays HAHA) that He has planned for me. He knows everything that will happen in my life and i'm so confident and sure that He will guide me through everything. i need only to be still. He goes with me and will never leave me nor forsake me. i'm confident of that and i'm so thankful (:
really all praise to God ah, that things are turning out this way. and i really just want to commit and surrender all these things to Him and trust fully that everything will work out His way (:
praise the Lord!
Hope™
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