Frustratingly Mediocre

Just saw a fanacc of a fan telling vixx it was her birthday and they wished her and talked to her and everything My birthday is in four days I will not regret not being able to talk to them. I WONT. I am thankful. I am thankful that i got that chance not many had and i didnt blow it that bad. I am thankful i will be thankful and i will not regret. I need to make myself believe this please make me believe this. Nothing came to my mind i wanted to tell them it will be my birthday in four days. I will be ohkay. Please give me a hug i need it. Yes i will be fine because someone is gonna celebrate my birthday for me. SOmeone planned an amazing surprise for me. Someone got scolded for me. Just for my birthday i will be happy i will be contented. Yes i will. I will the thankful and count my blessings rather than be jealous of what others have. It's ohkay if we're fated we will meet again. I can do this. I am ohkay. I will be ohkay. Every mistake teaches us a new lesson i'll be ohk...

So like.. ive never done this before. Ive never gone to the airport to pick an idol up and i never really believed in doing it. I cant believe im here now HAHA But rly. Vixx was just confirmed to be at belt 47 and landed in 2 hr's time so yay!!! I feel bad for telling mummy and daddy that im gg band concert (technically im supposed to ah oops) but i rly dw them to worry ah... Anyways, feel kindda excited now cos im rly close to where they would be walking out PLS FILM VIXX TV AND GET MY FACE IN IT hahahaha jkjk This whole week is gonna be such a good week for me. X) today i see vixx, tomorrow string and harmonc, friday utopia, sat ndp volunteer training, sun dinner w fam, mon vesak day (maybe gg msia if a certain pig can make it and a certain piglet's parents allow her to go hehehe x)), tue outing w the girls and wed the grand finale w an outing planned by piggy that i have no clue abt cos no one's telling me anything hehehe x) like im rly excited for this week ah ohkay? Su...

Omg everything is clashing w everything now??!?!?! Like dont get me wrong im writing this on a positive note. But like... so vixx is coming to sg IN A WEEKS TIME SCREAMS and their plane lands at 9:30 on 27 may in t3. And like... i wanted to go but then i have band concert. anD Now im like rly thinking so hard abt it omg yknow ppl are all speculating that they may be filming vixxtv omg if i see myself in their vixxtv i will lose it. BUT OMGGGGG i rly rly wanna goooo i mean jelpi was the one that told tap to release their flight info?!?!????? SOMETHING IS PLANNED I SAY. SOMETHING IS PLANNED. and like the fact that they wanna meet sg starlights?!???! Awwwwww And im just like rly so excited abt this yet there's this dreading feeling cos i somehow think that the band concert will end damn late and i wont be able to go and something good's gonna happen when i'm not there and like... idk ah.... >< Somehow i have a really good feeling abt this concert w the whole lucky draw t...

Hey! Look at where i am! Haha. Forgot this is the same bus i take to sch on many mornings and i forgot that it goes by hahahah. Should i get out at sch ltr? HAHA JK

It feels weird and im not used to it but i guess it's a good thing for now ah. Or else nothing good's gonna come out of it.

I'm lost. What do I do? There's no map in this place, Only quicksand and volcanoes. There's no leader to follow, No stars as a guide. Nothing. I was thrown here unwillingly, And am forced to walk through it. Sometimes I think of leaving. But then I realise who am I to decide my depature, If I wasn't the one to decide my entrance? I'm confused, I'm frustrated, I'm angry. But most of all, I'm tired. I've been walking for so long. Were they in circles? I would never know. Sometimes I wish I had someone with me. But then I realise it was a selfish thought. Because they'd have to walk this never-ending road with me. Who am I to force them into this? I'm hungry, I'm thirsty, I'm sleepy. But most of all, I'm lost. Help. Save me. Ps. Look i fixed the formatting cos idk why everything got lumped tgt ):

A 14 year old Christian who's ultimate bias is Lee Taemin (my dp). and no, for the millionth time, he's not a girl. when he dresses up as a girl now he looks awkward. lolx. omg my skype profile from 2012. why was i such an embarrassment hhhahhaa Shawol SONE EXOtic aff(x)tion L.O./\.E nice to meet you. i'm a kpopper pt. 2