Thank God (:

This is a little out of place I find, with regards to the types of post I've been posting up here. But since this is a personal blog and not really a site of curated articles, I guess I'll just do as I please hahaha. 

So it's not something new that I have interest in acting and performance. I've wanted to be an actor since I was young and I've been struggling a lot with myself with regards to what I can and should do to live life with no regrets. Today, I went for a casting call. It's a casting call of a really popular and well developed company and I honestly saw it as a beacon of hope. I tried to go for one of their casting calls earlier this year, but wasn't able to make it. When I saw it again, I thought that this was God giving me another chance. 

But then it had to clash with class, so I thought I wouldn't be able to go, yet again. Stupid me didn't check my emails properly because the class it supposedly clashed with didn't happen today!! There was no such class today!! I could've made it!! I found that out last night and promptly flew into a kind of mini-panic and self-loathing and spiral of sadness and anger. I sent an email asking if I would still be able to come for the casting, but from prior experience knew that I wouldn't be able to get a response in time. 

The lucky thing? The number of the staff was in the email. So this morning when I woke up, I decided what the hell and just sent a message over to see if it would still be possible. And guess what? It was!! I could do it! I could go down for the casting!! 

For this casting, I had to prepare a monologue, a talent showcase, and also my compcard. In some kind of God-ordained turn of events, I chose the monologue I wrote for my CCA (it was an unintentional monologue) to use for today and because I wrote it, I didn't really need to spend any time digesting it since I already knew the kind of character I wanted. Talent showcase? I still remember how to dance to Eclipse! Still hoping to film a cover for it heh. Compcard? Made it awhile back and just spent some time updating it today. 

I was honestly worried that I wouldn't be able to present a compcard. Since I had no printer at home, I would have to get it printed at a photo shop. Thankfully, I knew one nearby but because of the various preparations, I was running quite behind time and was quite convinced that I wouldn't be able to make it on time. 

In truth, I was about 5 minutes late. But there was an ongoing casting before me so it wasn't too bad that I was late. I even had to Grab because there was absolutely no way I could reach on time by public transport. It's ohkay, it's a cost well incurred. The Grab driver was pretty friendly and had a nice time chatting with him too! 

Now on to the casting. 

We went in pairs. The girl before me gave her self-introduction and did her monologue and talent showcase. All good. The special thing though, is that instead of the regular self-introduction, we were told to talk about something that inspired us lately. Or just a meaningful story, really. I thought of talking about how a friend once told me how it's sad that stories of our parents' generation are soon to be lost in time and all that mumbo jumbo. But then I realised. I wanted to sell myself. I wanted to showcase part of me without having to explicitly point it out. One of the things I wanted to show off about myself? My Korean ability.

So I told the story of how my Korean teacher in Korea once told us not to be afraid to speak in Korean. We're not Korean, so why would our Korean be good? It's normal that our Korean isn't good and it shouldn't be something that stops us from trying to speak in Korean! 

I guess you can tell how I expected this to turn out. Of course, it turned out the way I wanted it to. They asked me if I could speak Korean, I said yes, and then I delivered a short self-introduction (and story of my Korean learning journey haha) in full Korean. What I didn't know was that there was a Korean on site! But my Korean was approved by him so yayers! I think I misused some words and I could have done better but alls good! Didn't embarrass myself too bad hahaha. 

Then it was the monologue. It was pretty long, but then maybe because of slight nerves, I skipped a lot and basically improv-ed it lol. Was told to do it with more tension, and then with a more pleading feel. I would like to think that I did not bad, but we'll see. 

After that was talent showcase. I sang my usual song, and after singing the casting director took quite some time to write things down, I'm not sure if that's a good sign or bad but yeah! Then I danced to Eclipse. Was cut off pretty soon in Eclipse and honestly felt that I didn't do a good job but oh well, we'll see haha.

Then it was time for improv with my partner. We had to play two best friends where one betrayed the other. And in true drama fashion, one girl was dating the boyfriend of the other. It was fun, honestly! But I don't think I did very well in it. 

I expected myself to be shaking with nerves, just like the other girl was. Yet throughout the whole thing, I was so relaxed, so calm, honestly enjoying myself and playing around with the casting director! I can't believe it either. This is the most relaxed casting I've ever been to and I don't understand why? I'm someone with a lot of nervous energy usually and stuff like that definitely will make me start shaking. But I didn't! 

When I think about it, I find that it can really truly only be God's doing. It's His work in my life, His peace and His favour that has helped me throughout today and I am beyond thankful. Thank You, Lord, for helping me even though I've been far from You. Thank You for being so ever loving, so ever generous, and so ever gracious to a sinner like me. 

The results will come out next week. I commit that into Your hands, Lord. Thank You (: 

Hope™