It is Better to Give than to Receive

"It is better to give than to receive." I'm sure most of us have heard of this quote before. Was it when we were being taught as children to give to the less fortunate? Or was it when we threw tantrums wanting toys? I believe most of us first heard this phrase as a young child and sometimes, we don't really understand it.

What do you mean it's better to give than to receive? 

We've all felt the happiness of receiving something unexpectedly; a birthday present of a bag we've been eyeing, a random bouquet of flowers or even a simple note on a bad day. But have we all felt the happiness of giving? That swelling pride in you knowing that because of your gift, you made someone happy? That thought of hey! I got this because it reminded me of you! I want you to have it. 

Do we really understand the happiness that comes with giving? 

For me, I've been told this line since I was a child. And truth be told, I never really understood it. I didn't rebel and try to justify why receiving was better, but I just kept it at the back of my head to pat myself on the shoulders every time I chose to give instead of receive. 

But I think I'm starting to understand it. 

Those who know me know that I'm completely and utterly in love with Little Twin Stars. Heck, my 21st birthday party was even Little Twin Stars themed! So when Elisa Litz released their Little Twin Stars collection, guess who fell head over heels for it and wanted a pair for herself? I'm not sure exactly how long ago this collection was released, but I remember Natasha sending me a picture of the shoes when she saw it in their store at Bugis and me going ASKFADSFASDGS I NEED THAT. That was maybe, last year July or something? Before I went on exchange. 

You see, the thing about me is that I try to save as much as possible - it takes me forever to buy something because I'm usually standing there having a debate with myself as to whether I should get the item or not. Was it really worth my money? 

I couldn't justify to myself why I should spend $95 on a pair of shoes. 

Well, I guess I could've spent less if I found someone else to buy a second pair with me. You see, the thing about Elisa Litz is that they have this discount where any two pairs of women's shoes cost $158. That works out to a $16 discount. I could never justify why should I give up on this $16 discount if I could keep waiting to find someone who would share the two pairs with me. 

So I asked around like mad. I asked my cell, my brother's girlfriend, my friends, my cousin, and until recently, the FOS fam. No one ever wanted to get another pair with me. I was left there in despair (har har har) because I really really really couldn't bring myself to spend $95 on it. 

For Mother's Day, Elisa Litz had an additional sale on their shoes, where there would be an additional $20 discount on their $158 deal. That means a $26 discount for my shoes!!! That's a lot!!! What would've cost me $95 now cost me $69! 

If only I could find someone else to buy a pair too. 

I asked and asked and no one replied. I was really about to just heck it and buy it at $95. Especially since I've been eyeing it for literally almost a year and I really did need a new pair of white shoes. As a last ditch effort, I asked Mummy if she'd want anything. But the thing about my mama is that she's more of a practical than aesthetic footwear person. So of course, nothing caught her eye.

Just when I was about to give up and let this sale pass me by, I realised. Why not I buy a pair for my cousin? I'm not sure if I've ever mentioned her on this blog, but I have a cousin I'm really close to. She's getting married this year and I've been roped in to help make a video invite for their wedding. I asked her if she wanted a pair when we met up for dinner and to discuss the video plans back in early March. 

She owns three cats and Elisa Litz also has a zoo animals collection that features really cute shoes. I thought the cat one suited her pretty well and wanted to buy it. But I didn't know her size. Apparently, she's about the same size as Mummy who is a 36 or 37. When I checked the cat shoes, there was only size 36! Is it fate? Hahahaha. In fact, I think Mummy is size 37 but my cousin is one size smaller (long story: her future mother-in-law bought her a pair of shoes that were too big for her but fit fine for Mummy and it was size 37). 

That's it! I'll buy that pair of cat shoes for her! It helps me make up the extra pair of shoes needed to get the discount! 

I was so excited at gifting this cherished cousin of mine a pair of shoes. Which now on hindsight I realised if she is pantang I cannot do it because Chinese tradition doesn't permit gifting shoes oh dear HAHAHA but I don't think she is.

After I went through the payment and finally, finally, got my Little Twin Stars shoes, I realised one thing. 

I'm still spending the same amount of money as if I had bought two pairs of shoes myself. 

I wasn't going to ask her to pay me for the shoes. Neither was I going to ask Mummy to sponsor. I was paying for both pairs myself. I would've paid the same price had I chosen to buy another pair for myself. Despite considering this option many times, I never went through with it. Yet, when it came to buying my cousin a pair of shoes, I was instantly ohkay with it. 

Why? 

It was then that I understood what "it is better to give than to receive" meant. 

Essentially, I wasn't getting any discount on my shoes. In fact, I was spending more than what I would've spent had I just decided to get that one pair for myself. Yet I was happy to do it. Because I was going to gift this to someone who meant a lot to me. 

Fun fact: when I had sent the link to Elisa Litz asking my cousin if she wanted to get a pair from there, she had asked me for my shoe size and said she wanted to get me that pair of Little Twin Stars shoes for my birthday. I was like omg no no no it's ohkay don't have to!!! When logically speaking I could've jumped on the offer like YES PLEASE MY SHOE SIZE IS 40 THANKS. 

I would've received that pair of shoes. 

Now, I bought that pair of shoes for myself and I'm giving another pair to my cousin. 

And I feel much better than if I had received that pair of shoes from her. 

I'm not sure if others have been able to feel this sense of joy from giving, but maybe this is the reason why our parents, mentors, and teachers are so willing to go over and beyond what's required of them to give us so much more than we deserve. 

Truly, it is better to give than to receive. 

Hope™