It's Official

“Are you hungry?”

“I knew you’d forget this, so I packed this for you.”

“I separated all the soaps into their own plastic bags. Take it when you’re going on your weekend trips.”

“So, to cook meat, you… and then you… and then you… and then it should be fine.”

“I’ve helped you wipe all the dusty surfaces already. Here’s the cloth, I’ve washed it, but don’t use it on food. Use it to wipe the surface again if it’s dusty.”

“Daddy threw away his shoes, but I took the shoelaces and washed them very clean because I was thinking that you might need it.”

Not one of these contain the magic three words “I love you”. Heck, none of them even contain the word “love”. 

Yet, all these sentences are such clear signs of love.

Today’s finally the day. Finally the day that my parents have left for Singapore and I will be here in Rotterdam for the next 4 months without them. I thought that by already going through this once at Rotterdam Centraal Station, I would’ve gotten used to it and not have to fight back tears waving them goodbye for the second time. But I’m not. I’m not and maybe I won’t ever be.

Anyway, these past two weeks have been two weeks where I have witnessed just how amazing my parents are. Even though the quotes all came from my mother, that’s not to say that my dad didn’t do anything either.

As I watched my mum seem to intuitively know everything that I’d forget and everything that I’d need as I moved into my place, I can’t help but wonder: will I ever be as good of a mother as she is? Just where did she learn how to be such a good mother? Hearing her tell me how she separated the body wash bottles, shampoo bottles, conditioner bottles and even lotion bottles into different bags just to make it easier for me when I needed them, wow, I can’t help but marvel at the amount of love this person in front of me has to give.

My dad may not be someone who’s very vocal. Not just in expressing love directly, but even indirectly. My dad is a man of action. The one who spends days planning for the holiday so that none of us have to, the one that works so hard for us to enjoy the luxuries of life that we sometimes take for granted, the one who loves to eat but will willingly give up any food to you if you said you wanted it, the one who willingly carries the heaviest and biggest bag for the rest of the family to dump their stuff in. The dedication and commitment he has to this family, I’m amazed. Even though he pretends not to be as emotional and affected as we are, I’m sure he feels the same as we do.

I’m currently sitting in the train back to Rotterdam, probably ruining my makeup as my tears fall and my nose runs, I can’t help but think: what would I do without my parents, really?

That was written a good six hours ago. I'm now back, and my parents are on their way back to Singapore. Had a bit of a crying storm again just now. I just want Mummy and Daddy. But I know that this is a necessary stage of life for me to learn to live apart from my parents, to learn how to be independent. After all, no matter how much I want it, my parents can't be here with me on this earth forever, right?

So here's to the rest of my exchange. I'm looking forward (:

Hope™