Part of Something
Week 2 down! Officially done with 2 weeks of school and i dont know what to feel about it. next week is when all the tutorials start and even though i dont exactly have that many tutorials to slot into my time table (yeah i only have one HAHA), idk i think it'll take some getting use to? to know that my tuesdays no longer begin at 4pm but at 2pm instead. and idk how to feel about that. suddenly i have much less rest time but yet my workload is getting more and more hahha.. i guess i'm already a lucky person considering the fact that i have only 1 final and 1 tutorial to ballot for hahahha
anyway, to get on with the title.
i'm sure if you read a few posts back, there'd be a post about me feeling left out in rag. i wrote about how i was a bit sad that i joined late and thus couldn't really connect with everyone so i felt really left out because everyone already had their own stories to share and here i was... having nothing to be in on. i thought that it was just gonna last like that, and well i was just gonna have to deal with it - stick with those that i'm closer to and for those that i barely got the chance to talk to, well that's too bad then.
but last wednesday, i suddenly felt like hey, maybe i really am part of this big rag family after all! maybe people don't see me that much as an outsider after all and i'm really part of them! i'm not saying that i'm just some fomo kia that wants to be part of everything but yknow when you join somehting like rag where everyone knows each other for over two months you kind of just want to be part of it, yknow?
so yeah on wednesday there was the dhopps welcome tea which like an idiot i thought was an actual tea AHHAHAHHAHA like i thought we were just gonna sit around and eat food and talk??? cos that was what all these welcome teas meant back in jc HAHHA turns out it was a dance lesson OH EM GEE I WAS TOTALLY NOT DRESSED CORRECTLY AT ALL???? i was wearing a grey shirt (my cnm camp villians shirt) and BRIGHT GREEN SHORTS (which i got from giodarno damn long ago but i like it HAHA) and THANKFULLY sport shoes AHHAHAHA GG. so heng i decided to wear my sport shoes and not like some random slipons? bc ive danced in them before and it's damn uncomfortable to dance in slipons ;A; but yeah so i was over there having this mini mental breakdown bc i wasnt dressed correctly and like just v paiseh la HAHA but the moment i walked towards the raggers' circle, they just immediately went "LEE XIAN BE OUR LEAD" and ofc i was like w0t i just got here and i'm totally not ready. turns out it's because everyone was wearing either black or white and there i was in GREY shirt and GREEN shorts HAHAHHA twas fun though (: just that the place was really so cramped because there were so many people >< i used to think that like omg path has so little students like so weird to have three students to one teacher? BUT NOW I LOVE IT MAN. I LOVE IT WHEN THERE'RE VERY LITTLE STUDENTS. maybe i'll go back to path someday hahah (it's also another place that i dont really feel very accepted but that's normal bc everyone knew each other for so long and i kindda just squeezed myself into their lives like a shameless bij HAHA)
after the welcome tea, we were still together because hazel and willie wanted to learn the de dance for their auditions on sat. which then led to zile coming down to teach them, and the rest of us just hanging around and making a fool of ourselves HEHE learnt what everyone learnt at the funkstyle welcome tea from nic, and basically played a fool a lot ah (whilst hazel and willie were busy and serioulsy learning the choreo :D) even did the rag dances again!!! i was lead bci good of my outstanding fashion choice HAHAH and it was really fun. like just talking to each other like that, chatting about anything and everything, playing random games and laughing at the stupidest of things; it was a really nice experience (even if my sleep deprivation says no HAHA)
then everyone decided to go for supper. so ive never gone for supper with the raggers because #1 i dont eat supper #2 no moneh #3 not healthy la hahhaha. but then after that small experience i decided that it would be nice to join them for supper. and omg thankfully i went back to bathe first HAHA walked with sok to almeens (which is actually really quite far away but then it isn't all that far). being the lameo that i was, i brought my entire bag thinking that well, since i wasn't gonna eat, maybe i'll do some work if i could? clearly i couldnt get shit done HAHA it was really nice though, everyone just there talking. whether they meant anything or not, that companionship was really meaningful and memorable to me (: simple stupid stuff were shared, and deeper, more privy stuff were also spilled and it was really nice having that time to talk to others? i realised that the impressions i've had of many of them are actually wrong. while they may not be completely opposite from what i had imagined them to be, i kind of feel bad for like judging them? like thinking that they are a certain type of people just by watching their interactions with others. i really should stop judging and i'm trying to but sometimes it's just an intuitive thing? hahah
yeah so then after eating we decided to just chill out at ventus that was really near to almeens (: it was nice getting to talk to everyone as a group and also just one-on-one. it was nice learning about everyone and also sharing some of my stuff with people. i thnk the really nice thing about all these groups in uni is that everyone is generally very accepting? and like really almost anything and everything can be discussed because there isn't much judgement going around - everything is taken as a matter of fact. simple things that i didn't dare to really bring up amongst my friends in the past are now things that can just be blurted out in a conversation. i guess it's really nice how we've become less judgemental and more accepting? or even if we arent accepting we take everything with a light heart? idk i dont think (and i really hope i think correctly) that the people here generally wont spread stuff about others? like all these things that are meant to be just kept where they were mentioned won't really get spread out.
OH ALSO it's currently 7th month. and ventus is kind of an office building. so as we were sitting there, THE SHUTTERS SUDDENLY STARTED LOWERING u have no idea how scary it is to be chilling at tables and the next thing you know there are churning sounds and shutters start lowering. it didn't help that some ghost stories were being shared around at that time hahahha. we almost wanted to leave too thinking that we'd be locked in but then we realised that there were no shutters on the exit of the first floor so i guess all is well....? but it was really weird cos the shutters just went up and down at the weirdest of times. so we were finally creeped out enough to want to go back. and we ubered back to our places HAHHAHAHAHHA like legit i took the uber w sok and xm and they ubered to yih while i ubered to uhc. it was interesting though hahah i wonder what the uber driver felt doing it. oh no wait. mine was a taxi HAHA. but it was already paid by someone i think by kai? like it was through a phone app. felt abit bad that we were making him go to two places but if he was upset at it then he didnt let it show hahaha >< also bc i dont really know the way around nus road-wise, i didn't really know how to direct the uncle to rv and xm was telling me how to do it but he was doing it in the taxi with the uncle there already and he kept referring to the uncle in third person. like "you tell the uncle to go infront the roundabout...." stuff like that and i was like uhh the uncle is right there u can tell for me right he can hear u also HAHAHA it's interesting ah :p i just realised this whole chunk is me rambling and babbling I REALLY SHOULDNT BE DOING IT. MAKES MY POST LONGER THAN IT ALREADY IS GAH.
so now, after the intro, it's finally on to the week. i wont talk about wed though since i've already covered basically everything hahha
Monday
monday! monday was an interesting day hahaha. i had driving in the morning so i stayed at home first. and then when i was going to the toilet or something at cdc, i saw gerry!!! she's one of my rag friends and i was like omg pengyou. i keep seeing so many friends at cdc hahaha xD so at first i thought i just happened to see her and stuff but then at the bus stop gg to sch, I SAW HER AGAIN HAHAHA so we took the bus and mrt back together!! :D she had to go back to her hall first to put stuff so i went to utown straight cos i had lecture at 12. lecture itself was fine i guess? the projector was still wonky sighz hahahahha but everything went pretty smoothly la i guess?
the highlight of my monday was the dance ensemble open class! initially i told myself that maybe i'll join both dhops and blast because i really wanted to get better at street dancing and everything. but after doing the ballet concert and everything and the more i thought about it, the more i realised that i really liked contemp a lot and i didn't want to give up on it in favour of street dance. and i knew that de was quite well known and everything so i decided to try out the open class and see whether did i want to join it.
HARDEST DANCE I DID IN MY ENTIRE LIFE I TELL YOU
omg it was so damn difficult???? and there were so many people also so bodies were hitting and the heat was really quite intense ): the dance was also rly so fast bc there were so many and counts and there were many different levels and it's those kind where you instantly drop to another level so like omg difficulty level 100000000000 ;A; and also because of my haste to do all the moves i ended up getting a shit ton of bruises on my knees. it was really fun nonetheless and i'm really thankful to have been able to go for the open class bc i ended up liking it so much and i decided that hey, i wanna join de too! and if anything i guess i'll just have to give up on either blast or dhops? bc i'm alr in rv dance ig and like if i join 4 dance ccas 我不用活了 HAHAHAHAHA
was able to spend some time with the raggers at sbux after the open class and that was where i told them that i wanted to join and rag choreo next year. i think no one really expected it? bc the face joy gave me was a bit like w0t i dont think u can make it gurl. and well, i know im not that good of a dancer and i've never choreographed before and everything but i really did enjoy my time at rag and i'd love to be able to help with the next batch of rag so i really do hope that i can become a rag choreo? >< idk leh because they were saying that the seniors can recommend some people to be in the rag comm and i was there thinking like wah the cfm wont recommend me la they dont even know who i am LMAO. and like the choreos will be chosen by the new rag comm and like i'm not really all that close to the rag people. as in like i know what i said on top but what i mean is like... they have people that they're closer to still? so i really dk whether will i be able to make it in. but this is a worry for another time hahaha. i'll leave it up to God ^^
also i wanted to say this but idk where to say it. after the de open class right. the entire floor was WET FROM OUR SWEAT omg it was so gross yet also in a way satisfying bc we knew that we worked hard (:
Tuesday
omg instant regret of my life decisions the moment i woke up on tuesday HAHAHHA bc i've not danced so intensely in a while (or ever) and i'm just a weakling, i woke up w so many aches and pains i nearly died HAHA every move i make i make in pain it hurts to walk oh my~ HAHA hopefully the tune of that line can be caught but legit man. and the bruises on my knees were INSANE. best part? it was de auditions at night HAHAHHA GG.COM
so my tuesdays are pretty chill, like one tutorial (which hadnt started yet) and my korean class that's all. so when i was going for my class and everything, i decided to ice my knees bc omg i didn't want the bruises to be too big or else i will die?? hahhahha how am i gonna dance man. i'm doing the same dance so i'll be landing on the same spots that my bruises are at ;A; so like a maniac, i had a plastic bag with ice and i was sitting down at the bus stop waiting for the bus and icing my knee HAHAHAH
oh! i had a lunch with the lovenus people! and well, i'm not really close to them at stuff so it was interesting i guess? idk i went there early to do my korean homework and stuff and i think it was a bit weird also cos chiang invited her korean friends HAHAHA i didn't do my work infront of them but the book was right there infront of them and i was like hehhhh hahhahah >< they were really friendly though! although sometimes i wonder how they're able to handle meeting so many new people at a go o.o
then after classes and everything it was finally de auditions!! omg i cannot remember what my number was already but anxious max man. cos now i really did want to get into de and i was a bit worried la cos the de people all so zai then i'm so... not hahhaha >< AND ALSO joe was in my audi grp and she's freaking amazing so likeeeeee hahahha >< the instructor (i think his name is zaini?) changed up the choreo a little to make it easier (thank God HAHA) and he taught the very beginning of it which is easy ah it's just walking only hahah. and so this is how the audition went: first we would do the choreo with the into, then 4 eights of freestyle which will then change our blocking, then we do the choreo again without the intro. then after that it's a freestyle so some super obscure music HAHA
OMG YKNOW I NEARLY FORGOT TO GO TO MY BLOCKING HAHAH i was happily dancing AWAY from my blocking until the last four counts that i was like OMG WRONG PLACE WRONG PLACE and literally hopped over to my blocking in a poor attempt to disguise it like a gallop AHHAHA then the obscure music was rly weird but hahaha what is shame what is pride i just went all out or at least i hope i went all out? the thing about me is that i think i tend to hold back a lot in my freestyles because i think i look bad or something and like idk i just dont give my all despite wanting to give my all? so i tend to always walk out of all my freestyles thinking that i was holding back too much and could've done better ><
Thursday
since wednesday has already been said! hahah xD well, truthfully i'm writing this on 1 sept (which is one week after everything that has happened and i'm being slightly confused with what happened last week and this week) so in my opinion there was nothing that was really all that memorable during school time on thursday hahhah. it's after school that was more memorable.
so i had mod and my cell sis, liann, is interested in serving in church but didn't know where to serve. then i think she said that she felt led to serve in mod despite not having any dance experience. so in our cell, me, rach and cheryl are all in mod and i decided to bring her to mod ah! since school ended late, i wasn't really able to meet her early and stuff for dinner ): feel a bit bad that she had to wait for me cos well, i think it's really nervewracking to go up by yourself? haha esp when you dont know everyone and everything. i rmb feeling really scared the first time i went for mod too.
thankfully the people in mod are really nice of course hehe. and like that session was a really nice one! we were choreographing a little to Here I Am To Worship! i really really love this song omg it was a song i sang since primary school and like really so thankful to have been able to come up with a simple choreo for the chorus of it! so what happened was that we split into groups of three and i was put in this group of really experienced dancers omg halp. cos like twinkle just played the song and we were sppd to freestyle a bit to it? and i've already told you about me and freestyles HAHA also they did it really well while i was over there having no levels and being all awkward and stuff ): but they're really encouraging ah and they told me that i have a certain set of movements that i always do. which i think is true hahah
side track: for my de freestyle i did all the streamer dance moves that i knew HAHA ive been dancing w a streamer a lot in mod bc.. well idk leh i really like it? and there was a dance encounter a few weeks back where i was led to pick up a streamer and i got a message from God whilst dancing w the streamer so maybe that's why? haha
so then we did the chorus of Here I Am To Worship! and like it was really nice having a group to work with for choreography! and they were really so open-minded and eveything i'm so thankful that they listened to whatever i had to say for the choreography and they took up a lot of my suggestions!! aaaaa hehe ><
we were then told to arrange ourselves and twinkle would play the whole music and we had to dance to it. so what happened is that every group could do whichever part of the song they wanted and it turns out that my group was the only group that did chorus HAHA so the song goes like: verse chorus verse verse chorus verse. and there were 4 other grps that did verse so they all took turns. my group was the only group that did it twice HAHAHA
after when we were having the debrief nicole told me that my grp's dance was very nice aaa thankful ahh ahahaha >< idk if they'll use it in the platform choreo, but well, if they do, i hope it blesses someone (:
also, liann's group did free worship with flags. i think it was really really nice of them?? haha cos like liann has no dance background so i think it was really nice that they did something like that instead of coming up w a choreography since i think she wouldve been stressed to remember the choreography? haha ><
after that i had to go back to school so my very very long journey back began TT_TT
oh! now that i think about it, one interesting thing that happened in the morning on thursday is that i got lost trying to look for where wr would be held HAHAHHA gg. oh and i also woke up w horrible cramps in my butt area-ish. like i was sppd to meet the fc rv people for breakfast but it really really really hurt so much to move so i really couldnt go down sigh i feel bad ><
Friday
my fridays are really chill also HAHA i have only one lesson on friday x) had to wake up early though because i was gonna have breakfast with the people in my small group in the rv Christian fellowship (: so what i told them was that i'm horrible at waking up early and if all else fails come to my room to wake me up hahhahah. and we were saying that once you wake up, text in the group so that we will know.
i woke up to the sound of someone banging my door.
HAHAHAHHAHA OMG I'M SORRYYYYY i woke up thinking why someone was banging my door. then i checked my watch and i was like OH THIS IS WHY SOMEONE IS BANGING ON MY DOOR. couldn't really find them in the dining hall at breakfast, so i ate w the og. then after eating i went to find them hahah it was a really blessed time and i'm thankful to know them ah! x)
after french and everything it was time to go for cell! i was late though bc googlemaps LIED to me HAHHA jk. but yes i was late ): really thankful that pam was able to get my olive fried rice from her school though! like she ate it once in cell and it smelled so good so i wanted to ask her to buy it for me but since she graduated, she doesn't go back to school often and i told her like yknow maybe whenever she goes back she can buy for me? and she really remembered to omg so touched siaaa T.T cell was really nice too! we were all talking about g12 (: it did get a little naggy at parts but well, everything went well i guess (:
since cell was at smu, we were really near where the sg night fest is. omg time has passed so quickly sia i rmb coming to the night fest last year w the art class and now it's back again??? truthfully, i only realised it when is saw those cups of alchohol with lights hahahhaha. as in it didn't register in my mind that i went to sg night fest w the art class until i saw that bc i rmb yj and xl buying them :p and omg the projection on sam was AMAZING. last year's was quite underwhelming but this year's is SO GOOOOOOOD. thankful that i was with celine bc we were able to discuss the aspects of the projection tgt hehe. omg it was really so nice though??? like i really like how they made use of the architecture of the building and really made something so amazing?? last year's one felt more like they were just using the building as a screen rather than incorporating it into the projections?
after the thing ended there was a countdown until when it would start again and these tourists were like asking as what's gg on hahahah it was cool having to explain to them what this whole thing meant (:
then we went homeeeee it was still rly crowded everywhere though oh my hahah >< had to squeeze through so many people just to get to dhoby ahhaha
Saturday
I think for me, sat was mostly spent doing my work before heading off for service! i had homework, which was a 400-440 character korean word essay and holy shit it took me much longer than expected to do that essay??? hahha i mean it wasn't exceptionally difficult per se it was just qutie diffitult having to force myself to write at least 400 characters. so i started giving names to a lot of things beause then that takes up many characters HAHAHA so instead of saying 내 친구 i was like 내 친구 이름은 나타샤입니다 HAHAHHA so that one takes up one extra character everytime i talk abt her cos i dont just say chingu HAHAH also i had to write about a time i went to watch a performance so i talked about mubank!!!
so yeah that one took up a lot of time and i thought i was gonna be late for service omg
turned out i was early enough to have dinner HAHA sianz tho couldve had dinner w my parents who were at suntec for a talk but by the time they called me i finished dinner already >< but anyway i had to leave by 7:15 for service so i wouldnt have been able to stay long either. was buying bread for amanda and this lady wanted to share w me so that it would be cheaper but then she didn't have exact change to pay me back so it was a little awkward omg hahah >< thankfully the cashier was nice enough to break the note for her (:
after service i was able to go home w da parents!!! heheh they went for the night fest too (as per my recommendation xD) and i'm glad they liked it too! hehe
league w eyjj at night. omg so thankful that my computer updated league quickly hahaha >< and this is a little bit out of context but at first i was thinking of using my bro's com if my com updates really slowly again and i was asking him then he was like "yknow what, you can just have the com i have no use for it anymore" DAYUM if only i could say stuff like that. HAHA bc i was asking to use it on his old com so yeahhh but anyway i didnt and i think it's quite spoilt also so nvmm~~
Sunday
sunday was spd ability walk! was honestly a bit sian to go for the walk bc i realised that not many of the section was gonna go for the walk? and i was a bit worried that it would be awkward and stuff ): but i'm thankful that i was able to meet up w tiff, pearl and her mum!! hehe it was a really nice walk and we got to talk about many things (':
also i woke up damn late HAHAH so thankful to have had daddy to send me there!!! it was raining so so so heavily though!!! and like when there was still rain, can see that like they were trying to get us to do zumba to kill time whilst waiting for the rain to stop AHA the guy doing zumba was really admirable though he was able to keep his smiles up despite the crowd not really doing much LOL ><
then i cancelled piano because of the walk but then on the way back i realised that actually i couldve gone for piano but aiya nvm la haha i was tireddd
had ballet after that!! aaa i miss ballet mannn not that i'm any better though i feel so stagnant for ballet ): hopefully de will help me improve in ballet. and also mummy has been very strongly hinting for me to stop ballet GAH WHY MUMMY WHHYYYY hahah i mean i understand her ah she keeps telling me that i dont have time for ballet anymore and well, i still have time for it on sundays but i just think that i dont really have the time for it anymore if they have lessons on weekdays? >< i really dont wanna quit ballet though... i really wanna continue all the way and i guess like if really like that then i'll just take one lesson a week and not take exam but still progress up w the class ah. so maybe i'll just wait until advance 1 or 2 when i'm ready enough then i'll take exam? i was the one that wanted to start learning ballet so now i really wanna be able to complete it.
we went to airport for dinner after that bc kor was coming back from thailand!! this story damn joke tho HAHAH so on friday kor asked me if i was gonna go home and i was like yepp but i will be late. then he said he would too. but when i got home mummy told me kor was in thailand and i was like ?!?!??!?!???!!? HE JUST TOLD ME HE'LL BE COMING HOME AHHAHAH like wow kor ur late not few hrs late but few days HAHA it was a really last min decision tho. and like when we went to the airport to pick him up right, kor ended up gg out for dinner w his friends so he didnt need us to send him home anymore HAHAH and daddy was like w0t u make me drive here and pay for parking then u tell me u dont need me to send u home AHHAHAH
so yesseu. that has been my week 2 for you! omg this blogging thing is really so time consuming but i really wanna be able to record down my days >< God pls give me the strength and determination to carry on with this!!! >< i might do daily for time to time maybe? like if i can hahah. i think in total i spent two hours on this post? gg mannn hahaha
well, it's friday so it's time to start on week 3's one tooooooooooo omg haha
Hope™
anyway, to get on with the title.
i'm sure if you read a few posts back, there'd be a post about me feeling left out in rag. i wrote about how i was a bit sad that i joined late and thus couldn't really connect with everyone so i felt really left out because everyone already had their own stories to share and here i was... having nothing to be in on. i thought that it was just gonna last like that, and well i was just gonna have to deal with it - stick with those that i'm closer to and for those that i barely got the chance to talk to, well that's too bad then.
but last wednesday, i suddenly felt like hey, maybe i really am part of this big rag family after all! maybe people don't see me that much as an outsider after all and i'm really part of them! i'm not saying that i'm just some fomo kia that wants to be part of everything but yknow when you join somehting like rag where everyone knows each other for over two months you kind of just want to be part of it, yknow?
so yeah on wednesday there was the dhopps welcome tea which like an idiot i thought was an actual tea AHHAHAHHAHA like i thought we were just gonna sit around and eat food and talk??? cos that was what all these welcome teas meant back in jc HAHHA turns out it was a dance lesson OH EM GEE I WAS TOTALLY NOT DRESSED CORRECTLY AT ALL???? i was wearing a grey shirt (my cnm camp villians shirt) and BRIGHT GREEN SHORTS (which i got from giodarno damn long ago but i like it HAHA) and THANKFULLY sport shoes AHHAHAHA GG. so heng i decided to wear my sport shoes and not like some random slipons? bc ive danced in them before and it's damn uncomfortable to dance in slipons ;A; but yeah so i was over there having this mini mental breakdown bc i wasnt dressed correctly and like just v paiseh la HAHA but the moment i walked towards the raggers' circle, they just immediately went "LEE XIAN BE OUR LEAD" and ofc i was like w0t i just got here and i'm totally not ready. turns out it's because everyone was wearing either black or white and there i was in GREY shirt and GREEN shorts HAHAHHA twas fun though (: just that the place was really so cramped because there were so many people >< i used to think that like omg path has so little students like so weird to have three students to one teacher? BUT NOW I LOVE IT MAN. I LOVE IT WHEN THERE'RE VERY LITTLE STUDENTS. maybe i'll go back to path someday hahah (it's also another place that i dont really feel very accepted but that's normal bc everyone knew each other for so long and i kindda just squeezed myself into their lives like a shameless bij HAHA)
after the welcome tea, we were still together because hazel and willie wanted to learn the de dance for their auditions on sat. which then led to zile coming down to teach them, and the rest of us just hanging around and making a fool of ourselves HEHE learnt what everyone learnt at the funkstyle welcome tea from nic, and basically played a fool a lot ah (whilst hazel and willie were busy and serioulsy learning the choreo :D) even did the rag dances again!!! i was lead bc
then everyone decided to go for supper. so ive never gone for supper with the raggers because #1 i dont eat supper #2 no moneh #3 not healthy la hahhaha. but then after that small experience i decided that it would be nice to join them for supper. and omg thankfully i went back to bathe first HAHA walked with sok to almeens (which is actually really quite far away but then it isn't all that far). being the lameo that i was, i brought my entire bag thinking that well, since i wasn't gonna eat, maybe i'll do some work if i could? clearly i couldnt get shit done HAHA it was really nice though, everyone just there talking. whether they meant anything or not, that companionship was really meaningful and memorable to me (: simple stupid stuff were shared, and deeper, more privy stuff were also spilled and it was really nice having that time to talk to others? i realised that the impressions i've had of many of them are actually wrong. while they may not be completely opposite from what i had imagined them to be, i kind of feel bad for like judging them? like thinking that they are a certain type of people just by watching their interactions with others. i really should stop judging and i'm trying to but sometimes it's just an intuitive thing? hahah
yeah so then after eating we decided to just chill out at ventus that was really near to almeens (: it was nice getting to talk to everyone as a group and also just one-on-one. it was nice learning about everyone and also sharing some of my stuff with people. i thnk the really nice thing about all these groups in uni is that everyone is generally very accepting? and like really almost anything and everything can be discussed because there isn't much judgement going around - everything is taken as a matter of fact. simple things that i didn't dare to really bring up amongst my friends in the past are now things that can just be blurted out in a conversation. i guess it's really nice how we've become less judgemental and more accepting? or even if we arent accepting we take everything with a light heart? idk i dont think (and i really hope i think correctly) that the people here generally wont spread stuff about others? like all these things that are meant to be just kept where they were mentioned won't really get spread out.
OH ALSO it's currently 7th month. and ventus is kind of an office building. so as we were sitting there, THE SHUTTERS SUDDENLY STARTED LOWERING u have no idea how scary it is to be chilling at tables and the next thing you know there are churning sounds and shutters start lowering. it didn't help that some ghost stories were being shared around at that time hahahha. we almost wanted to leave too thinking that we'd be locked in but then we realised that there were no shutters on the exit of the first floor so i guess all is well....? but it was really weird cos the shutters just went up and down at the weirdest of times. so we were finally creeped out enough to want to go back. and we ubered back to our places HAHHAHAHAHHA like legit i took the uber w sok and xm and they ubered to yih while i ubered to uhc. it was interesting though hahah i wonder what the uber driver felt doing it. oh no wait. mine was a taxi HAHA. but it was already paid by someone i think by kai? like it was through a phone app. felt abit bad that we were making him go to two places but if he was upset at it then he didnt let it show hahaha >< also bc i dont really know the way around nus road-wise, i didn't really know how to direct the uncle to rv and xm was telling me how to do it but he was doing it in the taxi with the uncle there already and he kept referring to the uncle in third person. like "you tell the uncle to go infront the roundabout...." stuff like that and i was like uhh the uncle is right there u can tell for me right he can hear u also HAHAHA it's interesting ah :p i just realised this whole chunk is me rambling and babbling I REALLY SHOULDNT BE DOING IT. MAKES MY POST LONGER THAN IT ALREADY IS GAH.
so now, after the intro, it's finally on to the week. i wont talk about wed though since i've already covered basically everything hahha
Monday
monday! monday was an interesting day hahaha. i had driving in the morning so i stayed at home first. and then when i was going to the toilet or something at cdc, i saw gerry!!! she's one of my rag friends and i was like omg pengyou. i keep seeing so many friends at cdc hahaha xD so at first i thought i just happened to see her and stuff but then at the bus stop gg to sch, I SAW HER AGAIN HAHAHA so we took the bus and mrt back together!! :D she had to go back to her hall first to put stuff so i went to utown straight cos i had lecture at 12. lecture itself was fine i guess? the projector was still wonky sighz hahahahha but everything went pretty smoothly la i guess?
the highlight of my monday was the dance ensemble open class! initially i told myself that maybe i'll join both dhops and blast because i really wanted to get better at street dancing and everything. but after doing the ballet concert and everything and the more i thought about it, the more i realised that i really liked contemp a lot and i didn't want to give up on it in favour of street dance. and i knew that de was quite well known and everything so i decided to try out the open class and see whether did i want to join it.
HARDEST DANCE I DID IN MY ENTIRE LIFE I TELL YOU
omg it was so damn difficult???? and there were so many people also so bodies were hitting and the heat was really quite intense ): the dance was also rly so fast bc there were so many and counts and there were many different levels and it's those kind where you instantly drop to another level so like omg difficulty level 100000000000 ;A; and also because of my haste to do all the moves i ended up getting a shit ton of bruises on my knees. it was really fun nonetheless and i'm really thankful to have been able to go for the open class bc i ended up liking it so much and i decided that hey, i wanna join de too! and if anything i guess i'll just have to give up on either blast or dhops? bc i'm alr in rv dance ig and like if i join 4 dance ccas 我不用活了 HAHAHAHAHA
was able to spend some time with the raggers at sbux after the open class and that was where i told them that i wanted to join and rag choreo next year. i think no one really expected it? bc the face joy gave me was a bit like w0t i dont think u can make it gurl. and well, i know im not that good of a dancer and i've never choreographed before and everything but i really did enjoy my time at rag and i'd love to be able to help with the next batch of rag so i really do hope that i can become a rag choreo? >< idk leh because they were saying that the seniors can recommend some people to be in the rag comm and i was there thinking like wah the cfm wont recommend me la they dont even know who i am LMAO. and like the choreos will be chosen by the new rag comm and like i'm not really all that close to the rag people. as in like i know what i said on top but what i mean is like... they have people that they're closer to still? so i really dk whether will i be able to make it in. but this is a worry for another time hahaha. i'll leave it up to God ^^
also i wanted to say this but idk where to say it. after the de open class right. the entire floor was WET FROM OUR SWEAT omg it was so gross yet also in a way satisfying bc we knew that we worked hard (:
Tuesday
omg instant regret of my life decisions the moment i woke up on tuesday HAHAHHA bc i've not danced so intensely in a while (or ever) and i'm just a weakling, i woke up w so many aches and pains i nearly died HAHA every move i make i make in pain it hurts to walk oh my~ HAHA hopefully the tune of that line can be caught but legit man. and the bruises on my knees were INSANE. best part? it was de auditions at night HAHAHHA GG.COM
so my tuesdays are pretty chill, like one tutorial (which hadnt started yet) and my korean class that's all. so when i was going for my class and everything, i decided to ice my knees bc omg i didn't want the bruises to be too big or else i will die?? hahhahha how am i gonna dance man. i'm doing the same dance so i'll be landing on the same spots that my bruises are at ;A; so like a maniac, i had a plastic bag with ice and i was sitting down at the bus stop waiting for the bus and icing my knee HAHAHAH
oh! i had a lunch with the lovenus people! and well, i'm not really close to them at stuff so it was interesting i guess? idk i went there early to do my korean homework and stuff and i think it was a bit weird also cos chiang invited her korean friends HAHAHA i didn't do my work infront of them but the book was right there infront of them and i was like hehhhh hahhahah >< they were really friendly though! although sometimes i wonder how they're able to handle meeting so many new people at a go o.o
then after classes and everything it was finally de auditions!! omg i cannot remember what my number was already but anxious max man. cos now i really did want to get into de and i was a bit worried la cos the de people all so zai then i'm so... not hahhaha >< AND ALSO joe was in my audi grp and she's freaking amazing so likeeeeee hahahha >< the instructor (i think his name is zaini?) changed up the choreo a little to make it easier (thank God HAHA) and he taught the very beginning of it which is easy ah it's just walking only hahah. and so this is how the audition went: first we would do the choreo with the into, then 4 eights of freestyle which will then change our blocking, then we do the choreo again without the intro. then after that it's a freestyle so some super obscure music HAHA
OMG YKNOW I NEARLY FORGOT TO GO TO MY BLOCKING HAHAH i was happily dancing AWAY from my blocking until the last four counts that i was like OMG WRONG PLACE WRONG PLACE and literally hopped over to my blocking in a poor attempt to disguise it like a gallop AHHAHA then the obscure music was rly weird but hahaha what is shame what is pride i just went all out or at least i hope i went all out? the thing about me is that i think i tend to hold back a lot in my freestyles because i think i look bad or something and like idk i just dont give my all despite wanting to give my all? so i tend to always walk out of all my freestyles thinking that i was holding back too much and could've done better ><
Thursday
since wednesday has already been said! hahah xD well, truthfully i'm writing this on 1 sept (which is one week after everything that has happened and i'm being slightly confused with what happened last week and this week) so in my opinion there was nothing that was really all that memorable during school time on thursday hahhah. it's after school that was more memorable.
so i had mod and my cell sis, liann, is interested in serving in church but didn't know where to serve. then i think she said that she felt led to serve in mod despite not having any dance experience. so in our cell, me, rach and cheryl are all in mod and i decided to bring her to mod ah! since school ended late, i wasn't really able to meet her early and stuff for dinner ): feel a bit bad that she had to wait for me cos well, i think it's really nervewracking to go up by yourself? haha esp when you dont know everyone and everything. i rmb feeling really scared the first time i went for mod too.
thankfully the people in mod are really nice of course hehe. and like that session was a really nice one! we were choreographing a little to Here I Am To Worship! i really really love this song omg it was a song i sang since primary school and like really so thankful to have been able to come up with a simple choreo for the chorus of it! so what happened was that we split into groups of three and i was put in this group of really experienced dancers omg halp. cos like twinkle just played the song and we were sppd to freestyle a bit to it? and i've already told you about me and freestyles HAHA also they did it really well while i was over there having no levels and being all awkward and stuff ): but they're really encouraging ah and they told me that i have a certain set of movements that i always do. which i think is true hahah
side track: for my de freestyle i did all the streamer dance moves that i knew HAHA ive been dancing w a streamer a lot in mod bc.. well idk leh i really like it? and there was a dance encounter a few weeks back where i was led to pick up a streamer and i got a message from God whilst dancing w the streamer so maybe that's why? haha
so then we did the chorus of Here I Am To Worship! and like it was really nice having a group to work with for choreography! and they were really so open-minded and eveything i'm so thankful that they listened to whatever i had to say for the choreography and they took up a lot of my suggestions!! aaaaa hehe ><
we were then told to arrange ourselves and twinkle would play the whole music and we had to dance to it. so what happened is that every group could do whichever part of the song they wanted and it turns out that my group was the only group that did chorus HAHA so the song goes like: verse chorus verse verse chorus verse. and there were 4 other grps that did verse so they all took turns. my group was the only group that did it twice HAHAHA
after when we were having the debrief nicole told me that my grp's dance was very nice aaa thankful ahh ahahaha >< idk if they'll use it in the platform choreo, but well, if they do, i hope it blesses someone (:
also, liann's group did free worship with flags. i think it was really really nice of them?? haha cos like liann has no dance background so i think it was really nice that they did something like that instead of coming up w a choreography since i think she wouldve been stressed to remember the choreography? haha ><
after that i had to go back to school so my very very long journey back began TT_TT
oh! now that i think about it, one interesting thing that happened in the morning on thursday is that i got lost trying to look for where wr would be held HAHAHHA gg. oh and i also woke up w horrible cramps in my butt area-ish. like i was sppd to meet the fc rv people for breakfast but it really really really hurt so much to move so i really couldnt go down sigh i feel bad ><
Friday
my fridays are really chill also HAHA i have only one lesson on friday x) had to wake up early though because i was gonna have breakfast with the people in my small group in the rv Christian fellowship (: so what i told them was that i'm horrible at waking up early and if all else fails come to my room to wake me up hahhahah. and we were saying that once you wake up, text in the group so that we will know.
i woke up to the sound of someone banging my door.
HAHAHAHHAHA OMG I'M SORRYYYYY i woke up thinking why someone was banging my door. then i checked my watch and i was like OH THIS IS WHY SOMEONE IS BANGING ON MY DOOR. couldn't really find them in the dining hall at breakfast, so i ate w the og. then after eating i went to find them hahah it was a really blessed time and i'm thankful to know them ah! x)
after french and everything it was time to go for cell! i was late though bc googlemaps LIED to me HAHHA jk. but yes i was late ): really thankful that pam was able to get my olive fried rice from her school though! like she ate it once in cell and it smelled so good so i wanted to ask her to buy it for me but since she graduated, she doesn't go back to school often and i told her like yknow maybe whenever she goes back she can buy for me? and she really remembered to omg so touched siaaa T.T cell was really nice too! we were all talking about g12 (: it did get a little naggy at parts but well, everything went well i guess (:
since cell was at smu, we were really near where the sg night fest is. omg time has passed so quickly sia i rmb coming to the night fest last year w the art class and now it's back again??? truthfully, i only realised it when is saw those cups of alchohol with lights hahahhaha. as in it didn't register in my mind that i went to sg night fest w the art class until i saw that bc i rmb yj and xl buying them :p and omg the projection on sam was AMAZING. last year's was quite underwhelming but this year's is SO GOOOOOOOD. thankful that i was with celine bc we were able to discuss the aspects of the projection tgt hehe. omg it was really so nice though??? like i really like how they made use of the architecture of the building and really made something so amazing?? last year's one felt more like they were just using the building as a screen rather than incorporating it into the projections?
after the thing ended there was a countdown until when it would start again and these tourists were like asking as what's gg on hahahah it was cool having to explain to them what this whole thing meant (:
then we went homeeeee it was still rly crowded everywhere though oh my hahah >< had to squeeze through so many people just to get to dhoby ahhaha
Saturday
I think for me, sat was mostly spent doing my work before heading off for service! i had homework, which was a 400-440 character korean word essay and holy shit it took me much longer than expected to do that essay??? hahha i mean it wasn't exceptionally difficult per se it was just qutie diffitult having to force myself to write at least 400 characters. so i started giving names to a lot of things beause then that takes up many characters HAHAHA so instead of saying 내 친구 i was like 내 친구 이름은 나타샤입니다 HAHAHHA so that one takes up one extra character everytime i talk abt her cos i dont just say chingu HAHAH also i had to write about a time i went to watch a performance so i talked about mubank!!!
so yeah that one took up a lot of time and i thought i was gonna be late for service omg
turned out i was early enough to have dinner HAHA sianz tho couldve had dinner w my parents who were at suntec for a talk but by the time they called me i finished dinner already >< but anyway i had to leave by 7:15 for service so i wouldnt have been able to stay long either. was buying bread for amanda and this lady wanted to share w me so that it would be cheaper but then she didn't have exact change to pay me back so it was a little awkward omg hahah >< thankfully the cashier was nice enough to break the note for her (:
after service i was able to go home w da parents!!! heheh they went for the night fest too (as per my recommendation xD) and i'm glad they liked it too! hehe
league w eyjj at night. omg so thankful that my computer updated league quickly hahaha >< and this is a little bit out of context but at first i was thinking of using my bro's com if my com updates really slowly again and i was asking him then he was like "yknow what, you can just have the com i have no use for it anymore" DAYUM if only i could say stuff like that. HAHA bc i was asking to use it on his old com so yeahhh but anyway i didnt and i think it's quite spoilt also so nvmm~~
Sunday
sunday was spd ability walk! was honestly a bit sian to go for the walk bc i realised that not many of the section was gonna go for the walk? and i was a bit worried that it would be awkward and stuff ): but i'm thankful that i was able to meet up w tiff, pearl and her mum!! hehe it was a really nice walk and we got to talk about many things (':
also i woke up damn late HAHAH so thankful to have had daddy to send me there!!! it was raining so so so heavily though!!! and like when there was still rain, can see that like they were trying to get us to do zumba to kill time whilst waiting for the rain to stop AHA the guy doing zumba was really admirable though he was able to keep his smiles up despite the crowd not really doing much LOL ><
then i cancelled piano because of the walk but then on the way back i realised that actually i couldve gone for piano but aiya nvm la haha i was tireddd
had ballet after that!! aaa i miss ballet mannn not that i'm any better though i feel so stagnant for ballet ): hopefully de will help me improve in ballet. and also mummy has been very strongly hinting for me to stop ballet GAH WHY MUMMY WHHYYYY hahah i mean i understand her ah she keeps telling me that i dont have time for ballet anymore and well, i still have time for it on sundays but i just think that i dont really have the time for it anymore if they have lessons on weekdays? >< i really dont wanna quit ballet though... i really wanna continue all the way and i guess like if really like that then i'll just take one lesson a week and not take exam but still progress up w the class ah. so maybe i'll just wait until advance 1 or 2 when i'm ready enough then i'll take exam? i was the one that wanted to start learning ballet so now i really wanna be able to complete it.
we went to airport for dinner after that bc kor was coming back from thailand!! this story damn joke tho HAHAH so on friday kor asked me if i was gonna go home and i was like yepp but i will be late. then he said he would too. but when i got home mummy told me kor was in thailand and i was like ?!?!??!?!???!!? HE JUST TOLD ME HE'LL BE COMING HOME AHHAHAH like wow kor ur late not few hrs late but few days HAHA it was a really last min decision tho. and like when we went to the airport to pick him up right, kor ended up gg out for dinner w his friends so he didnt need us to send him home anymore HAHAH and daddy was like w0t u make me drive here and pay for parking then u tell me u dont need me to send u home AHHAHAH
so yesseu. that has been my week 2 for you! omg this blogging thing is really so time consuming but i really wanna be able to record down my days >< God pls give me the strength and determination to carry on with this!!! >< i might do daily for time to time maybe? like if i can hahah. i think in total i spent two hours on this post? gg mannn hahaha
well, it's friday so it's time to start on week 3's one tooooooooooo omg haha
Hope™
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