thank You for the closed door

this happened quite a few days ago but i thought it was worthy noting down (: 

so as you know i'm currently at this point in my life where i ask myself "what do you want to be when you grow up?" "what course do you want to study in uni?" "which uni are you going to?" although the last one is like 90% answered hahhaha 

the thing is that i actually wasn't really all that confident that nus would accept me. i know that ntu most likely wont accept me cos of my grades but like idk leh cos my grades also not say amazing like i think i'm around the 90th percentile in terms of grades for the people that applied for fass? anyways so back then in the beginning of march i registered of an audition with laselle for ba dance. i did that once also back in secondary school before i got back my o level results cos i didn't think i was gonna do well. except back then i registered for diploma in dance. 

i was rejected back then but then again it was also because i think i wasnt really putting in much effort in my audition? like by the time i went for the audition i was already quite happy being in vj and i didn't really wanna leave. so i guess that sort of came out in my audition that caused them to decide that i wont be accepted? 

this time though i actually tried. i think. HAHA >< like this time i really actually worked for it because at that time when i went for the auditions i didn't know that i was accepted into nus yet. so i really went with the heart of wanting to enter the school because if both unis dont accept me i really have nowhere to go HAHA 

and then i received a letter from them that i was rejected yet again. 

but interestingly i wasnt very upset about it?? i'm serious when i say that i really love dance and if i could do something that's related to dance in the future as my career i would be really happy and grateful. but yet, i wasn't like very upset about not being accepted into laselle. and i just thought back to how i was agonising over where to go and i prayed and asked God to like yknow lead me. to close the doors for me so that i would know exactly where He planned for me to go. and like i feel like this closed door is a way of God telling me that He doesnt want me to go to laselle? like idk whether do i have a future in dance or not but the Lord is telling me that my place isnt with laselle. and if ntu doesnt accept me either then really God wants me to go to nus (: 

and i'm also really thankful for this closed door because had this door been open, i would then face with the dilemma of where to go. do i go to laselle and specialise in dance? where the industry can be quite spontaneous and i may not have any job security? or do i take the conventional path and go to nus fass because from there i can really branch out to many different aspects? i feel like my parents would have preferred me to go to nus. but anyway now that laselle has rejected me i no longer have to worry about it??? 

so i'm just really thankful ah, for His guidance through this crucial period of my life. 

thank You Lord, all praise to You!

Hope™