Oh the nerves
guess what's going on today?
yep i'm getting back my o's results today I CRY
most people might think that i don't wanna get it back cos i'm afraid to do badly but really i don't wanna get it back because getting it back means going to school and i really really really don't wanna do that now ): i miss being at home and just doing nothing ahahhaha
honestly i'm really curious how my results will be. but of all my subjects, the one i'm anticipating the most is actually chinese because i really really really want to pass that!!!! for the other subjects i'm a little worried too and i kindda just don't wanna think about anything to do with them now until i get it lolx
everyone's telling me to keep them updated hahahhahaha. i'll see my mood xP it depends i guess. i was thinking that if i didn't do that badly, i would purposely take one result of one subject every hour and send it to them ahahha keep the suspense. but i guess if i did badly i kindda wouldnt have the mood for that??? i really dk how to react omg. although i think i'll kindda just have the same reaction whether i did well or not?
oh wells we can't change anything now so.... i don't know if i should be thinking really negatively about this, like oh that's it, you're gonna fail you're doomed and stuff because i don't want to expect to do really well only to see my results later and be like well...... this was so far from what i'd expected....... hahhaha
speaking of which, today's my first official off day ever since i started working like three weeks ago!!! :D there was one day where i overslept so that doesn't count ahahha
but yeah for once i didn't have to worry about how many hours i've slept, and that i should sleep early. i also didn't have to wake up at freaking 4 am to get dressed and get ready for work, i could finally off my alarm clock after having it ring every single day about 40 mins before my bus would arrive. it's really so amazing to me ahahhaha. even though i could stay up really late, i still didn't cos well, i guess i'm kindda used to sleeping early alr??? it's really new for someone who's a night owl like me... 11 used to be "oh wow it's still so early yay!" but now 11 is like "holy shit so late i need to sleep alr" x)
even without my alarm clock today, i woke up at 7:46. why do i remember it so well? you may ask. that's because i had a dream before it. so i guess i havent said this but i joined dreamstation's open classes and currently have dance literally every single day of the week and it makes me happy (: so the thing is for ds, i have to wake up around 5 (when i nap in the afternoon that is) and then leave around 6:15 to get there around 7:30 (traffic jam urgh). so in my dream, i was in the kitchen. and it was night. when i looked at my watch, IT WAS 7:47 and i was freaking out because today is monday and on mondays we have pop vocals w yuni, kpop and hiphop with brendon and stuff and i really enjoy it ahahah. so i was kindda panicking and wondering why didn't my alarm ring and why didn't natasha call me. so when i went to check my phone on my bed, i woke up. and when i woke up and checked my watch, IT WAS 7:46. i had to pick up both phones to guarantee that it's 7 in the morning and not evening since i tend to nap a lot due to my job. I'M NOT KIDDING I WAS LIKE PANICKING WHEN I WOKE UP HAHAHAHHA. it seems like i do that every single time i wake up. when i wake up for work and it's late i panic. when i nap and wake up late i also panic ahahhahah
wow look how much i sidetracked from my inital topic. oh wells, it's good to be distracted anyways, esp w something that i can't control
tbvh, i've been thinking about sending an audition for jelpi. it's not because i don't like sm anymore but if you think about it, rv just debuted and sm's currently under a lot of shit. any new debuts are solos of their already existing idols and if by some miracle i actually do make it there, it would take FOREVER before i would debut and hello i would still like to get married some time in the near future thanks. and the thing abt jelpi is that this year will be vixx's third year and i think it's kindda a good year to have a sister band to vixx? like there've been rumours going around it so i think it'll be a good chance to try and audition for it even though the band's already probably formed SIGH. but well, i guess it's a better chance since rumours are that they'll be debuting in the middle of the year and we've all heard about trainees training for only a few months before debut yeah ahhahahhaa. i would feel so insecure doing that but WELL. just let me be the member with no lines and no going front to the audience until i think i can do it LOL. what am i saying.
haven't been singing or dancing well lately and it's really annoying me cos i wanna film it asap. also, my printers down, so ANNOYANCE. i can't get anyone to print it for me because no one knows about this so what am i supposed to do?!?!?!??! D: maybe i can ask natasha if she can print it for me....
sigh why am i always thinking about this.... there's only such a small chance yet i still keep thinking about it. like tbvh i don't exactly know what i'll do ohkay. other than seeing myself as an actress there's literally nothing else i see myself doing other than this and like... i'm just so worried that i will end up doing something i really hate and constantly dreaming about this?????? i'm honestly really worried about ending up with a lame boring job with lame boring office hours with lame boring coworkers with a lame boring everyday life. like the saying goes, YOLO. and i really really wanna make my life, that i only have one chance at mind you,. worth living. i don't want to die with regrets. i really don't. most people are afraid of dying. i'm not. i'm just afraid of dying with regrets which is why i don't wanna die young because i want to at least be able to fulfill these few wishes before i actually do go.
it's worrying me so much but like i have no one to go to for advice??? there's this one girl that auditioned for jelpi on aff and i've been asking her about the audition process and stuff so i guess she's the closest person i have to someone that can give me advice? hopefully it's good enough ahhahaha
not gonna think about if i'm accepted. that's for later (or never D:)
btw, ordered seche vite top coat a few days ago and if i calculated it correctly it should be delivered today. let's see if it's gonna be a "congrats you deserve this" or "it's ohkay, you'll be fine" present yeah. and watching night at the museum 2 w mummy tomorrow and we'll see what that is too yeah.
"wine. in victory we deserve it. in defeat we need it." - some quote i saw from a wine shop (?) last year omw for summer school.
i'm gonna go and like.... watch videos and stuff until it's time to go maybe????? i need lunch later too. huh.
oh wells
wish me luck!!!
Hope™
yep i'm getting back my o's results today I CRY
most people might think that i don't wanna get it back cos i'm afraid to do badly but really i don't wanna get it back because getting it back means going to school and i really really really don't wanna do that now ): i miss being at home and just doing nothing ahahhaha
honestly i'm really curious how my results will be. but of all my subjects, the one i'm anticipating the most is actually chinese because i really really really want to pass that!!!! for the other subjects i'm a little worried too and i kindda just don't wanna think about anything to do with them now until i get it lolx
everyone's telling me to keep them updated hahahhahaha. i'll see my mood xP it depends i guess. i was thinking that if i didn't do that badly, i would purposely take one result of one subject every hour and send it to them ahahha keep the suspense. but i guess if i did badly i kindda wouldnt have the mood for that??? i really dk how to react omg. although i think i'll kindda just have the same reaction whether i did well or not?
oh wells we can't change anything now so.... i don't know if i should be thinking really negatively about this, like oh that's it, you're gonna fail you're doomed and stuff because i don't want to expect to do really well only to see my results later and be like well...... this was so far from what i'd expected....... hahhaha
speaking of which, today's my first official off day ever since i started working like three weeks ago!!! :D there was one day where i overslept so that doesn't count ahahha
but yeah for once i didn't have to worry about how many hours i've slept, and that i should sleep early. i also didn't have to wake up at freaking 4 am to get dressed and get ready for work, i could finally off my alarm clock after having it ring every single day about 40 mins before my bus would arrive. it's really so amazing to me ahahhaha. even though i could stay up really late, i still didn't cos well, i guess i'm kindda used to sleeping early alr??? it's really new for someone who's a night owl like me... 11 used to be "oh wow it's still so early yay!" but now 11 is like "holy shit so late i need to sleep alr" x)
even without my alarm clock today, i woke up at 7:46. why do i remember it so well? you may ask. that's because i had a dream before it. so i guess i havent said this but i joined dreamstation's open classes and currently have dance literally every single day of the week and it makes me happy (: so the thing is for ds, i have to wake up around 5 (when i nap in the afternoon that is) and then leave around 6:15 to get there around 7:30 (traffic jam urgh). so in my dream, i was in the kitchen. and it was night. when i looked at my watch, IT WAS 7:47 and i was freaking out because today is monday and on mondays we have pop vocals w yuni, kpop and hiphop with brendon and stuff and i really enjoy it ahahah. so i was kindda panicking and wondering why didn't my alarm ring and why didn't natasha call me. so when i went to check my phone on my bed, i woke up. and when i woke up and checked my watch, IT WAS 7:46. i had to pick up both phones to guarantee that it's 7 in the morning and not evening since i tend to nap a lot due to my job. I'M NOT KIDDING I WAS LIKE PANICKING WHEN I WOKE UP HAHAHAHHA. it seems like i do that every single time i wake up. when i wake up for work and it's late i panic. when i nap and wake up late i also panic ahahhahah
wow look how much i sidetracked from my inital topic. oh wells, it's good to be distracted anyways, esp w something that i can't control
tbvh, i've been thinking about sending an audition for jelpi. it's not because i don't like sm anymore but if you think about it, rv just debuted and sm's currently under a lot of shit. any new debuts are solos of their already existing idols and if by some miracle i actually do make it there, it would take FOREVER before i would debut and hello i would still like to get married some time in the near future thanks. and the thing abt jelpi is that this year will be vixx's third year and i think it's kindda a good year to have a sister band to vixx? like there've been rumours going around it so i think it'll be a good chance to try and audition for it even though the band's already probably formed SIGH. but well, i guess it's a better chance since rumours are that they'll be debuting in the middle of the year and we've all heard about trainees training for only a few months before debut yeah ahhahahhaa. i would feel so insecure doing that but WELL. just let me be the member with no lines and no going front to the audience until i think i can do it LOL. what am i saying.
haven't been singing or dancing well lately and it's really annoying me cos i wanna film it asap. also, my printers down, so ANNOYANCE. i can't get anyone to print it for me because no one knows about this so what am i supposed to do?!?!?!??! D: maybe i can ask natasha if she can print it for me....
sigh why am i always thinking about this.... there's only such a small chance yet i still keep thinking about it. like tbvh i don't exactly know what i'll do ohkay. other than seeing myself as an actress there's literally nothing else i see myself doing other than this and like... i'm just so worried that i will end up doing something i really hate and constantly dreaming about this?????? i'm honestly really worried about ending up with a lame boring job with lame boring office hours with lame boring coworkers with a lame boring everyday life. like the saying goes, YOLO. and i really really wanna make my life, that i only have one chance at mind you,. worth living. i don't want to die with regrets. i really don't. most people are afraid of dying. i'm not. i'm just afraid of dying with regrets which is why i don't wanna die young because i want to at least be able to fulfill these few wishes before i actually do go.
it's worrying me so much but like i have no one to go to for advice??? there's this one girl that auditioned for jelpi on aff and i've been asking her about the audition process and stuff so i guess she's the closest person i have to someone that can give me advice? hopefully it's good enough ahhahaha
not gonna think about if i'm accepted. that's for later (or never D:)
btw, ordered seche vite top coat a few days ago and if i calculated it correctly it should be delivered today. let's see if it's gonna be a "congrats you deserve this" or "it's ohkay, you'll be fine" present yeah. and watching night at the museum 2 w mummy tomorrow and we'll see what that is too yeah.
"wine. in victory we deserve it. in defeat we need it." - some quote i saw from a wine shop (?) last year omw for summer school.
i'm gonna go and like.... watch videos and stuff until it's time to go maybe????? i need lunch later too. huh.
oh wells
wish me luck!!!
Hope™
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