push me down a flight of stairs

i thought about this on monday, when i was trying to run 2.4.

i really feel like getting someone to push me down a flight of stairs rn. i really can't run. i really don't want to run.

i want to injure myself so that i don't have to run.

i can't run. i'm serious. every time i run, my chest starts to tighten up and my throat becomes super dry and sometimes i can't seem to breath properly. dad joked that he had to bring me to go see a doctor cos it could be a heart condition but i don't think so la.

maybe i'm just too unfit

but that's ohkay

i want someone to push me down a flight of stairs.

best case scenario: i sprain my leg for a short while.

why? because no napfa. and i'll recover fast enough to be able to do ballet. i don't want to run but i want to dance see my dilemma?

if i break my leg, that's not a good thing.... because ballet.

if i get into a coma, i don't mind. i might sleep through o's! i might not have to meet so many people for such a long time. and i get to sleep as long as i want! can't seem to do that often now haha.

if i die... i'm not one for suicide, i don't support it. i don't want to do it but if it's inevitable then ohkay. my only regret would be not being able to film a proper dance cover and record a proper vocal cover. i'd really like to do that some day (: if i die, i can probably meet yeye! and that's great! i miss him! ^^

you see? why am i always thinking of this?

seriously please push me down a flight of stairs i won't blame you

Hope™