i hope you don't find me like a psychopath when i talk to my grandfather here. because i don't have the strength to say it out loud without my voice cracking from me crying.

tears are always threatening to spill when i type to him. all the more when i speak.

maybe i'll get used to it when time passes.

because time heals all wounds, right?

no?

i don't know.

only time will tell.

what is time anymore?

i spent two hours crying but it felt like two minutes

i spent probably 16 hours or so with my family, just talking, walking around, playing some games but it felt like a few hours

does time really matter?

wow.

i finally understand that when people write in fics that they can't tell the difference between an hour and five hours anymore.

but is this a good realisation?

lee xian™

ps. i might be signing off with my actual name for some posts. mostly when it comes to my grandpa. cos this is the name he gave me, this is the name that i love so much. it carries so much meaning to me.