holaaaaa

finally started on elearning today!!! :DDD

but guess what? i did my bio homeostasis test and i failed

meh

i was listening to music and i didn't bother studying for it whoops

but whatever

i'm not a good student anyways

i dont really think mdm aishah would care so much?

i just hope she doesn't talk to me or anything

hope that i'll score well so she can just overlook that haha

cos seriously

homeostasis is an annoying topic

why cant we learn like.... hereditary or smth

idek what i'm talking abt.

i've been listening to mashups

some suck

some are amazing

currently listening to a rock ur body and dream girl one but i'm only hearing dream girl now lmao.

there was this bonamana and lucifer one that i really liked (:

seriously don't feel like studying omg

why must olvls be next year

or rather, why must i even go to sch dammit

im not even interested in anything there

i know ppl will prolly be like "then go work in macs next time la!" or smth like that

but if you think abt it, isn't that better?

like rather just work some simple job and stuff than to work some really professional job but you hate everything you do so you basically just wasted your whole life studying about smth you're not interested in, and then working for it cos it was what everyone wanted you to do.

like if anything i don't mind working in starbucks i guess??? idk lol

i have no future

yay

no seriously

the only thing i can think about doing and stuff

is something that is near impossible

i don't even have anyone that i can tell or ask help from

so the chances are practically zero

i really don't know what i'm gonna do when i grow up

will i just be some housewife?

actually that doesnt sound like a bad idea

why am i thinking so much about life right now?

while listening to a superhero and irresistible lips mashup

i must be going crazy again

but i can't help thinking about it

i'm fifteen

i have o's next year

that's like one of the biggest things ever right now but i don't even have the motivation for it

it's like

i really don't feel like doing anything everyday

not even go on tumblr

or twitter

or facebook

or youtube

or aff

nothing really

just lie on my bed and waste the day away

no

seriously

what i can do

i don't have anywhere to go that i can do smth i like

i was thinking of learning voodoo

but i'm not getting off this seat when there's someone home

besides i tried it ytd w pea

somehow i keep mixing n with hyuk idek why.

i don't feel like doing any work

really

i'm thinking if i should just read

hey at least i'm doing something, right?

this doesnt seem like a day that i'll be productive

but i have tuition later

i cry

but at least there's mubank

why can people achieve so much

i know they have their own setbacks and everything

but how did they even start

wow

did they just happily prance in and be like "oh let's give it a try"

people have so much talent

what is my talent

no seriously

what's my talent

it's like i don't do anything well

really

have you seen my everyday life

i can't dance well

i can't sing well

i can't write well

i can't study well

i can't play the piano well

i can't draw well

i can't even concentrate well dammit

it'll be fine if i actually had something i'm good at.

but sadly i have nothing

i'm fifteen but it already seems like i have no future and that i won't get much in life

really?

really.

if i've already achieved a lot and then only now that i decide to not do anything, i think that's fine.

but

i

haven't

even

achieved

anything

yet

why is everyone around me so smart

so talented

got one dentist

got a few doctors

got one lawyer

prolly got a behavioural psychologist

possibly a writer too

but that could be fanfiction lol

what else is there?

actually i don't know

even those that don't do well in school, they probably already have a future

what about me?

i don't even know if i want to go jc or poly dammit

so far the courses in poly don't interest me

neither does jc

wow

i just get olvl sua?

no one would allow that la

i'm not even allowed to drop amath

let alone school

sorry

i'm speaking rubbish again

and i'm wasting space by using a thousand and one paragraphs

but isn't that what i'm good at?

wasting

wasting space

wasting time

wasting food

wasting electricity

wasting water

wasting air

wasting money

wasting life

hey look i found my talent

like real

help?

i should go and not bother anyone alr

but i still feel talkative

oh right

i don't talk well either

everyone says i talk too fast

i'm also not good in playing games

aish

i guess i should just go now la

i'm clumsy

btw

just saying

i'm currently trying to find a few things

no, not my purpose in life

i mean actual things that i kindda lost just this morning

whatever

bye i guess

hope you have a good day

still can't stop laughing at the irony of my name

yay

Hope™