아빠의 사랑니
we always talk about how a mother's love is so 伟大, but we always tend to forget that a father's love is 伟大 too. i know you may think this is really random, but from the series of things that have been happening, i feel that i really should blog about his. i'm sorry to my dad that i didn't make him a father's day card (cos you pissed me off a few days prior but nvm). and i just wanted to say this even though i dont think he will read it (cough he reads everything of mine cough).
anyways, fathers are like our personal (and unpaid) chauffeurs, chefs (maybe), atms, doraemon pouch and probably many many other things that i can't think of right now.
my dad's always been sending me back and forth school since i was young (mummy does too, but let's focus on dad now cos i didn't make him a card when mum got one). he sends me almost everywhere i need him to. like there was once when he was supposed to pick mummy up from somewhere in the north and i was asking him if he could pick me up somewhere in the east. he works in the north. he ended up driving from work to the east and back to the north to pick mummy up. everytime that we have any holidays in which we'd have to drive, he'd always be the one behind the wheel. no matter how tired he is, he'll always be our amazing (and unpaid keke) chauffuer. maybe i don't know how to express it well, but i'm really thankful that my dad's able to send me back and forth all the time, no matter the distance.
there was once when my mum had to go overseas for some company trip, and dad had to take care of us. it was the first time i saw him cooking. even though it was only instant noodles, he actually took the time off to cook for us, even when he probably doesn't know how to cook it. though i highly doubt that since he's been in army but at that time i've never seen him cook kay! and then now, when mummy cooks, she always calls for him to help her out. even if he has work, or he's feeling tired, he'd usually always help her when she needs it. maybe he's not the one doing the main cooking, but the food wouldn't be on the table as fast as it is now if he didn't help out with the cooking.
most of the time, when i want to buy new things, i'd go to dad and ask for money. you may think that i'm just treating him like an atm, but hey! if i really did, i wouldn't be writing this for him, would i? everytime i need to buy new stationery, i can just go to him for the money. if i want new clothes, mum will help me choose and pay but she'll usually use daddy's cards (hahaha jk. but it happens kay). when i want new albums and i whine to daddy about it, he actually goes over to taiwan and goes into the shops to buy the albums for me. i remember there was once he called back to sg telling me about album prices and asking whether it was cheaper in singapore or not. he's on business trips overseas, but he still takes the time off from his hectic schedule to help me search for albums that he thinks are useless. you say they're useless, yet you still buy them for me. this is also how he's like a doraemon pouch. he gets me so many albums, so many posters and everything, he buys honey for us. basically he pretty much gets probably >60% of the things at home??? idek. he also bought concert tickets for me, and no matter how many times he says he won't, he always gives in in the end and gets them for me.
i know dad's tired. i mean, i've seen him stay up until idek cos i fell asleep, and the next day he wakes up the same time as me or maybe even earlier. even so he's never really complained much about being tired or anything.
i guess i kindda wanna say that i'm sorry? i'm sorry for not being really.... good...? i'm not the smartest in math (or school in general) and i don't put much effort into studying or thinking of my future. i'm sorry if i've said really hurtful words towards you, and sometimes i say insensitive stuff. but i guess you know that i don't mean those hurtful words, and sometimes i don't really think things through before they come out of my mouth.
when i was young, and when i liked a certain type of food, you'd always give me the one on your plate. because at that time i was young, i was really happy that i got more. but as i grew up, i realised that you also wanted to eat it, but gave it to me because i said it was nice. and then now, when i offer you food, you mostly turn it down by saying 'nevermind'. to be honest, it makes me feel guilty. cos it's like you want the food, yet you know i like it and i'm offering you but you don't want to accept it so i can eat more of it. maybe this is not the case, but that's what i infer from your 'nevermind's or 'it's ohkay's.
i guess i kindda wanna say alot of things? i don't express myself well, and i definitely can't express my love well. but... i love you! i don't say it much (or at all tbh) but i'm sure you can feel my love radiating off me, can't you (chokes). i hope you can at least tell that i'd never hate you, and you're my amazing dad that i'll never trade for anything in the world.
even though i complain alot about you on voc, and sometimes insult you and everything, i hope that you know that sometimes those things are said because of my emotions and not from logical thinking (when was i logical in the first place anyway). to me, you're kindda like an annoying friend that you always want to push away and avoid, but you know you'll never trade that friend for anything and that you still love that friend.
i don't know what to say now, i've never been able to express myself well with words. i guess? i'm not sure if this is good expression. but i'll just say that i actually almost cried many times while writing this. like almost every paragraph. but i don't want to cry cos mummy's sitting in front of the tv and i don't want to be asked why i'm crying.
i know this is really late, but happy father's day!
hope™
ps. typed everything in lapslock because i can.
pps. daddy's gg to his workplace now to collect the tickets. then he's coming back to pass them to me. thank you!
ppps. i think daddy kindda said that if i cannot go, he can go w mummy. and i feel bad for saying this but i hope that celine can't go. cos i want mummy and daddy to go tgt. (yes, i asked celine if she could go)
pppps. i kindda feel worried(?) if i were to go w daddy cos idk how to express myself well in a way, and i think it might end up being really awkward????
ppppps. this is bigbang, so i prolly won't fangirl
anyways, fathers are like our personal (and unpaid) chauffeurs, chefs (maybe), atms, doraemon pouch and probably many many other things that i can't think of right now.
my dad's always been sending me back and forth school since i was young (mummy does too, but let's focus on dad now cos i didn't make him a card when mum got one). he sends me almost everywhere i need him to. like there was once when he was supposed to pick mummy up from somewhere in the north and i was asking him if he could pick me up somewhere in the east. he works in the north. he ended up driving from work to the east and back to the north to pick mummy up. everytime that we have any holidays in which we'd have to drive, he'd always be the one behind the wheel. no matter how tired he is, he'll always be our amazing (and unpaid keke) chauffuer. maybe i don't know how to express it well, but i'm really thankful that my dad's able to send me back and forth all the time, no matter the distance.
there was once when my mum had to go overseas for some company trip, and dad had to take care of us. it was the first time i saw him cooking. even though it was only instant noodles, he actually took the time off to cook for us, even when he probably doesn't know how to cook it. though i highly doubt that since he's been in army but at that time i've never seen him cook kay! and then now, when mummy cooks, she always calls for him to help her out. even if he has work, or he's feeling tired, he'd usually always help her when she needs it. maybe he's not the one doing the main cooking, but the food wouldn't be on the table as fast as it is now if he didn't help out with the cooking.
most of the time, when i want to buy new things, i'd go to dad and ask for money. you may think that i'm just treating him like an atm, but hey! if i really did, i wouldn't be writing this for him, would i? everytime i need to buy new stationery, i can just go to him for the money. if i want new clothes, mum will help me choose and pay but she'll usually use daddy's cards (hahaha jk. but it happens kay). when i want new albums and i whine to daddy about it, he actually goes over to taiwan and goes into the shops to buy the albums for me. i remember there was once he called back to sg telling me about album prices and asking whether it was cheaper in singapore or not. he's on business trips overseas, but he still takes the time off from his hectic schedule to help me search for albums that he thinks are useless. you say they're useless, yet you still buy them for me. this is also how he's like a doraemon pouch. he gets me so many albums, so many posters and everything, he buys honey for us. basically he pretty much gets probably >60% of the things at home??? idek. he also bought concert tickets for me, and no matter how many times he says he won't, he always gives in in the end and gets them for me.
i know dad's tired. i mean, i've seen him stay up until idek cos i fell asleep, and the next day he wakes up the same time as me or maybe even earlier. even so he's never really complained much about being tired or anything.
i guess i kindda wanna say that i'm sorry? i'm sorry for not being really.... good...? i'm not the smartest in math (or school in general) and i don't put much effort into studying or thinking of my future. i'm sorry if i've said really hurtful words towards you, and sometimes i say insensitive stuff. but i guess you know that i don't mean those hurtful words, and sometimes i don't really think things through before they come out of my mouth.
when i was young, and when i liked a certain type of food, you'd always give me the one on your plate. because at that time i was young, i was really happy that i got more. but as i grew up, i realised that you also wanted to eat it, but gave it to me because i said it was nice. and then now, when i offer you food, you mostly turn it down by saying 'nevermind'. to be honest, it makes me feel guilty. cos it's like you want the food, yet you know i like it and i'm offering you but you don't want to accept it so i can eat more of it. maybe this is not the case, but that's what i infer from your 'nevermind's or 'it's ohkay's.
i guess i kindda wanna say alot of things? i don't express myself well, and i definitely can't express my love well. but... i love you! i don't say it much (or at all tbh) but i'm sure you can feel my love radiating off me, can't you (chokes). i hope you can at least tell that i'd never hate you, and you're my amazing dad that i'll never trade for anything in the world.
even though i complain alot about you on voc, and sometimes insult you and everything, i hope that you know that sometimes those things are said because of my emotions and not from logical thinking (when was i logical in the first place anyway). to me, you're kindda like an annoying friend that you always want to push away and avoid, but you know you'll never trade that friend for anything and that you still love that friend.
i don't know what to say now, i've never been able to express myself well with words. i guess? i'm not sure if this is good expression. but i'll just say that i actually almost cried many times while writing this. like almost every paragraph. but i don't want to cry cos mummy's sitting in front of the tv and i don't want to be asked why i'm crying.
i know this is really late, but happy father's day!
hope™
ps. typed everything in lapslock because i can.
pps. daddy's gg to his workplace now to collect the tickets. then he's coming back to pass them to me. thank you!
ppps. i think daddy kindda said that if i cannot go, he can go w mummy. and i feel bad for saying this but i hope that celine can't go. cos i want mummy and daddy to go tgt. (yes, i asked celine if she could go)
pppps. i kindda feel worried(?) if i were to go w daddy cos idk how to express myself well in a way, and i think it might end up being really awkward????
ppppps. this is bigbang, so i prolly won't fangirl
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