idk why

idk why, but suddenly i feel so sad like that. T-T almost cried just now, but no reason behind it....

sigh. i wish i can take kpop dance lessons. but no one will join with me, and if it was near my home or smth, i wont mind joining. but now that it's like so far Thomson there, it's kindda hard. they learning The Boys, I dont only wanna learn The Boys, I wanna learn Replay, EVERYTHING. Esp the SHINee songs. their choreography is so interesting! but even though i'm a visual learner, i learn better with someone standing infront of me...

sometimes, i just wish that dreams can come true~ i wish that i can dance as well as Taemin or at least somewhere around there and i wish i can meet SHINee. not as in concert that kind of thing, but like be their friend or smth. i wish for many things, at many different times. i wish that i can be friends with SHINee, SNSD, the iCarly cast, the Victorious cast. watching SHINee and SNSD's shows, it's like they're so good friends. like some sort of family, it's nice. they have so much fun together. they care for each other...

and watching the bloopers of iCarly and Victorious, it's like another big family. having so much fun. though i have so many friends, and sisters, it's like i really never had that much fun before. like in SHINee and SNSD, working together to raise a baby. or in iCarly and Victorious, acting together and laughing when they make mistakes...

idk what happened to me! hope this wont last very long... it would be nice to be in a kpop band, or be an actress, but i know that they have very little privacy and sometimes haters can say really mean things to them. but i find these dreams quite impossible. i mean, to be in a kpop band, you have to get into SM Academy. and to get in there, you need to go for auditions. but how can i go for auditions when there are none in Singapore? not only that, but i havent learnt much types of dancing and the thing is, my parents dont understand all this kind of stuff that goes through my head. they think i just really like kpop alot or smth....

and to be an actress, i know i can be one in Singapore, but i've actually told my mum and dad smth like this before, but they just ignore it. i'm really worried that next time, when i grow up, i'll have a job that i hate, far from my dream job. and i wont be able to fulfill any of my wishes. then i would have lived for nothing. i know that we have to chase after our own dreams, but how? it's hard. it's hard when no one understands you. it's hard... just hard..

ohkay, imma go now, and bawl my eyes out or smth, but bye

xoxo

Hope™